Merry Christmas

last night was our company Christmas party. we had a good time, and i'm really glad that Troy was able to make the party. with his job, i never know if/when he'll be around, so we just kinda roll with it. he was driving from lousville, ky, to jacksonville, fl - with a stop at bahama breeze in kennesaw, ga. good times. this is the first year which our company has invited spouses to the party, so that makes it ever sweeter that Troy was able to make the party. from the gift exchange, i ended up with some boxer shorts and some fireworks. that explains the type of people i work with.
 
i'm looking forward to having a few days off from work during the holidays. and i'm looking forward to spending some time with our kids too. for Christmas, michael wants fishing and hunting stuff, and alex wants legos and a gerbil. they are all boy - through and through!
 
looking forward to cheryl gapp getting into town this afternoon. tomorrow we have another party - the mixed nuts party at denise and steven's house. i'm thinking our company party should have been called 'mixed nuts' but instead it was just a Christmas fandango. you may need to talk to troy about any extra-curricular happenings at the party last night. i'm not telling.
 
i work with some really great people. our boss has chosen amazing people to work for him. we all get along great, which is a rarity with a company our size. and i can't say enough about how much i respect and appreciate our boss, Ron. he and his wife, Cathy, are top notch.

busyness and randomness*

life has just flown by the last couple of weeks. not sure where the time has gone, but it's definitely the holiday season. even the cold weather indicates the holidays are near.

random thoughts crossing my head:

*if i could change the color of my office, what would i want to change it to? i'm thinking i like the color of my clothes today. olive green shoes with aqua piping, black long sleeve t-shirt under a burgundy t-shirt. i'm thinking i would find something with those four colors. guess you could say i definitely pipe to my own bagpipe.

troy has gone to miami again. i say again because this is about his fifth trip down there in three weeks. that's a ton of driving. i was able to ride with him last friday. let's just say that i couldn't stay up that long. about 5 am i shut down, climb into the sleeper and click off like a light. next thing i knew it was 10 am and the trailer was unloaded. good times. i like my normal schedule of waking up at 6.48 am.

Christmas, Basketball, and Racing

what's the deal with people putting up their Christmas decorations so early? some neighbors in our apartment complex have had their tree on the balcony for over 2 weeks now. can't we just be thankful for a while before we get all wrapped up in gifts, trees, etc.? yet i can't deny that i've been buying a few gifts here and there. thinking of what i can make some people for Christmas. might need to get my nose outta my books for a few days and get creative. had i mentioned that i married mr. creativity?

 

last tuesday night i went to a college basketball game at reinhardt college. it brought back so many memories of when i played b-ball. the school i went to, Nebraska Christian College, was smaller than reinhardt. i was majoring in missiology. my heart was set on being a missionary i listened to people when the told me that i needed to be educated in order to be an effective missionary. it’s a lie. i wish i would’ve jumped right into a program like YWAM instead of wasting time. when i look back now, i see that God had other plans for me, or He altered his original plans because i didn’t follow what He had intended for me. not sure how that all works.

 

it’s crazy to look back on life, and see where i’ve come from. i can honestly say that my thirties have been the best days of my life. started out raising support for my six month adventure in Tanzania. financial support started coming instantly and i was completely overwhelmed by the response. then february came around and it was off Kilimanjaro. that six months in Tanzania  resounds through my life everyday. in my mind, i still translate words into swahili. my emphasis on ‘stuff’ is nearly non-existent. Troy talks about wanting this and that, and i don’t have the same wants. (this is something we are working together.) troy and i met because of our interest in missions. he had been on a mission trip to Brazil, and i had this blog about my adventures in Tanzania. that was the basis for our first discussion in an email. i can hardly believe that it’s been nearly a year since he first emailed me. now we are over six months into our beautiful marriage.

 

last weekend we were in miami for the final nascar race of the season. had a great time cherishing the time away from the normal routine, sleeping in hotels, staying with friends, enjoying good company, and watching some racing. its was great to have the break. i have to admit that i love showing troy off. he’s like a wonderful prize that i love to introduce to my friends. it’s great. troy got along with florida friends just lovely. then again, how can you not love troy?

 

 

 

Non Half Anniversary

yesterday i told all my friends from the office that today was my 6 month anniversary. i truly was convinced that it was. so i'm talking to troy last night as he's driving home, and asked him what he had planned for our 1/2 anniversary. he mentioned, 'how about on the 10th we order pizza?' i asked, 'on the 10th?' his reply, 'our anniversary is the 10th. we got married on the 10th of may'. then it hit me that today is the 6th. so i may have lost the wife of the year award over not knowing the exact date of our anniversary. guess when troy forgets my b-day, valentine's day, or an anniversary, i really don't have any right to be upset.

so i get to the car this morning and troy had bought flowers. guess he didn't want for me to be disappointed on our non half anniversary.


so this is me enjoying a piece of chocolate cake and my purple daisies on our non half anniversary.

Learning

i'm starting off with this statement: Troy and i are in the middle of a discussion.
 
we are not fighting, simply discussing. we keep re-visiting the discussion. i think he wants me to tell more of what i really feel about this conversation, but i've held back some in order to not hurt his feelings. yesterday was a different story. there are days when i get chatty, and spew whatever is on my heart. guess i was having one of those days yesterday. hoping it will benefit both of us.
 
this is one of our first discussions which requires both of us to make some changes. i see a need for change; Troy is getting there. yet i realize that in order for things to thrive, both parties need to move together in a forward direction in order to progress. so i've spent much time in prayer about this, and i'm continuing to pray for us to see eye to eye (which isn't that hard since we are the same height.)
 
tomorrow is our six month anniversary.
 
our marriage has been a breeze; i honestly can't recall any days when it's been a tornado.
 
i just looked over at my wall of pictures and saw the photo of Troy and me on our wedding day.  memories of that day fill my mind - i married the right man (truly Troy is more than i have ever prayed for). then my mind jumps to Lacey helping with planning, Casey the great wedding singer, Shottie, Denise and Laura with all their support, Valerie bailing us out with the photographer, my family stepping up to help with the food, some relatives driving all night from wisconsin to make the wedding, my beautiful Grandma give me her blessing, the moments of getting the flowers in the buckets with my dad, grocery shopping with my mom, taking a stroll around the falls, getting a good night sleep before the wedding, getting to the church on wedding day and people already hustling to make everything look great, taking a ride to Carole and LeRoy's new house, all the guests who attended our wedding in the rain, having all our family together for the first time, meeting my brother's girlfriend and my niece, introducing Troy to everyone, etc.
 
what an amazing blessing. my heart deeply overflows with gratitude to our Maker for matching us up. Troy and i make a great team. i love having kids who are 8 and 11, and Flora is just about 11. it's like having 2 boys and a girl. then there are all my wonderful in-laws. i married into a really welcoming and wonderful family. I have 3 great moms, 2 wonderful dads, and the list goes on from there. my life feels full right now, but never forgot i long for Africa.
 
i see there is great celebration in Kenya today over the election results. my friend, Dex, is in kenya - in the northern region of Lodwar. she's traveling with a group who is deliver food, compassion, and love. i can't wait to return to tanzania. it's been a year and 3 months since i returned from Africa. i think i'm currently going thru a second round of culture shock. i miss that life - the simplicity, low cost life. i try to explain to Troy how i feel about it, but my words fail me. my heart breaks for my friends who are struggling to survive. i wish i could be there for Flora's b-day on the 29th of this month. i see her picture sitting on my desk - i see the desire and potential in her eyes. i miss that kid, even more so now than every before. i long to wrap her in my arms again.
 
guess i'm all over today.
 
 
 

®@ÑÐØm

there is so much random stuff on the internet. i was surfing today, came across a website to make ransom notes. how bizarre. yet, it was very interesting and cool how it works.

been reading some murder mystery books by james patterson. finised two books so far. need to get back to the library tonight so i can get another. they are the types which hold your attention to the last page. love that type of book.


love this photo of my guys.

had a fun weekend surprising my in-laws with their trick or treating grandkids. then drove down to the lake to spend a couple of nights with deanna.

andy had a traumatic weekend.

I'm on a role today

last night as i was laying in bed, desperately attempting to turn off my brain while failing miserablymy mind tried to grasp the different season of life. i’m only thirty-two, but i’ve had my share of highs and lows, joys and failures, bursts of happiness followed by spells of fear and loneliness, etc.  as the song goes, ‘i’m no stranger to the road.’

 

for me, the pendulum swings from feeling fulfilled to unfulfilled. those are basically my two seasons – satisfied or unsatisfied. unsatisfied often times fall under the catergory of ‘i have a bad case of the ‘can’t-help-me’s’’. you know those times? it’s the times when you’re sitting around the house – bored but knowing you have plenty to do. your heart is not satisfied in the doing – but in the expectation of something to change – especially when nothing seems to change. (i realize that’s a terrible run-on sentense with horrible grammar!) boredom and complacency go hand-in-hand with a bad case of the ‘can’t-help-me’s’. (yet i’ve been around long enough to know that each of us has power to change the complacent lives we live. we all have opportunity to spice up the normalcy and get into the unknown. but then again, too often we allow fear to hold us back.)

 

then there are those times when life seems to be sailing along beautifully. we breathe in the sunsets and feel the warmth of the sun. we look into the eyes of our kids and see joy and happiness and futures filled with passion, hope and expectation. each new day brings on a whole new opportunity to change a life, feed a hungry soul, enjoy a conversation with a friend, experience the tranformation of a stranger becoming a friend, etc.

 

right now i feel i’m at the point where the pendulum is directly at the lowest point –where it is exactly between the up and down swings. kinda like a plumbline that has found the balance of center. it’s an ok place to be. but there is an anticipation rumbling in the depths of my being. there’s a feeling of change coming – a change of my soul to seek Christ’s leading and expect some amazing break-throughs. do you feel it? what’s your soul telling you? where is your pendulum? what are you seeking?

 

what keeps me up at night? now that i’ve gotten used to sleeping next to troy, i miss him laying next to me when he’s working. my friend, Dex, who’s currently roving around Kenya for the cause of Christ. my parents are seeking new employment. a need to pray for our boys to grow up to be men of integrity and faithful followers of Jesus Christ. a beckoning to search the scriptures to know the Truth. areas in my life where i need to submit to my husband and Jesus. a realization that i’m controlling. begging God to help me overcome my tendecies to criticize. thinking about things i love about troy. concerned for some friends in tanzania. missing my life in tanzania. missing struggling with swahili/english. thinking about some bible verses. wondering how flora is doing. wanting to call troy, again. thinking about jeannie and her impact on michael and alex. wishing somehow jeannie and i could be more pliable with one another. wishing it weren’t so dramatic to pickup the kids. thinking about the episode of nanny 911, and how the nanny defused certain arguments by simply remaining calm. amazed how negative energy radiates in certain families. thinking about the verse of allowing the peace of Christ to dwell in me.  pondering how lindsay boxer will solve this mystery.

 

those are some of my thoughts before i went to bed last night.

a couple of things

a friend, michael, is doing an experiment. he’s trying to blog for 30 days in a row. check out his blog to see the changes going in it his life.

i gave troy a new gift. he’s been wanting one of these since i met him. you need to go to his blog to see what i got him. new blog i married an amazing man who is a little off with his passions. just kidding, i’m thinking this traveling andy will be good for troy. can’t wait to see where it leads.

i was little upset that the phillies won the world series last night.

Nascar Truck Race

last saturday Troy and i were given tickets to the nascar truck race at the atlanta motor speedway. here are some photos:


Troy standing near Tony Stewart's USAC (a.k.a sprint car) race car.


Ryan Newman burning out after his win.

we have a contest when it comes to racing. we each get to choose a vehicle - the one we think is going to win. i have a tendency to pick ones that crap out. this truck race was no different for me. the truck i choose, #7, not sure who the driver was, pitted to the infield after the first lap. good thing i'm not a betting person.

overall the race was quite boring, only a couple of driver cutting the grass, not major wrecks. it's not secret that i watch racing for the wrecks. we had a good time walking through the driver trailers.

highlight of the day: having dinner with my mom-in-law, sister-in-law, and niece-in-law at la parrilla.

SMHG

stone mountain highland games
 
 

still learning...

so yesterday i surprised Troy. i may have gotten the wife of the year award - that is still to be decided. (wink wink) so what was the surprise? troy's favorite driver - tony stewart - was at the home depot near my work. so yesterday during my lunch break, i went to home depot in order to stand in line for an hour to get a wristband. with the wristband, we were guaranteed a signature. then i invited troy to meet me after work because i had a surprise for him. he was a little reluctant, but being the trusting husband that he is, he went along with it.

this is the line we stood in to get the autograph.

more lines

finally after an hour and a half...

New Discoveries

so in the last couple of days i've discovered some really sweet shortcut to my google account. that makes my day. i've learned how to transfer my blog to my new google account, learned some cool stuff to do with my calendar, and how to update my blog by sending an email. guess i'm confessing in a round about way that i'm a techie junkie and thrive on learning those little shortcuts. just color me 'nerd'.

troy is gearing up for an amazing Christmas. that's about all i have to say, since he reads this blog.

i'm looking forward to shopping for the kid's gifts this year. fun times. i'm used to shopping for other people's kids, but this year they are my kids. by the way, i love having kids. it's a little different for troy and me since we get the kids every other weekend (translation: about 4 days a month). michael is getting into the tween stage with his attitude. it's crazy to see the change in him since he began middle school. alex accepted Christ last weekend, and we stoked about that. he connects so well with the other kids from our church. alex has some speaking parts in the Christmas play, and he's pretty excited about that.

Cooking and Other News

i'm not very consistent with my blogging.

facebook is a dangerous means of gathering info about my younger cousins. some of the stuff i don't want to know.

troy and i cooked some shepherd's pie last night. we made some modifications, yet it was still amazing. i am so blessed to have a husband who likes cooking and baking. i can make some killer mashed potatoes. troy makes some tasty brown gravy. let's just say it's a great combo. just throw in some steak... and viola!!!

we surprised our boss with a card this morning - it's boss's day. troy had made some brownies for the girls at work, and we told Ron that the brownies were for him. good excuse to celebrate!

i'm looking forward to spending some time with kimberly, leona, gary, cathy, jan, rick, (and whoever else) this weekend at the stone mountain highland games. i'm abandoning my family to go and hang out with my friends. i don't feel guilty. i think troy and the kids will attend the airshow in smyrna on saturday. that sounds like a good time, but i only get to see kimberly about twice a year. i love having a husband who not only is capable, but is amazingly great at being a dad.

i hope in 5 years it is this easy for me to brag on Troy.

i'm not enjoying my beth moore bible study so much.

we've been super busy at work the last couple of weeks.

in a month troy and i will be in miami for the nascar race. looking forward to some time sitting on the beach, listening to the waves. then sitting at the track, listening to the roar of the horsepower. can hardly wait!

Random Thoughts

i really like ten shekel shirt. i see they have a new cd out.

I'm also into John Waller.

something hit me on the way to work this morning. it wasn't really that profound, but it has my heart in a stir today. it's about the town where Yunis lived.

the town is called Mkata. It's about 2 hours north/northwest of Dar Es Salaam, Tanzania.

you can click to photo to enlarge it.

anyway, you might remember me talking about Mkata. That's the place where so much witchcraft and satanic practices took place. all night long i was pestered by the drums and nightly rituals. then, early in the morning, over the loud speaker, the islamic chants would begin. the witch doctors would place this poisonous liquid on the corn leaves so that people walking by would come into contact with this liquid. the liquid would cause your skin to have first degree burns. then the people would need to go to the witch doctor to be cured, but the witch doctors would put curses on the people instead. it was like job security. it was not a very pleasant place for me. i have strong feelings for that place, but they certainly are not pleasant.

anyway, that's also the place where i visited the hospital in order to visit my classmate's son who was in a coma from malaria. the little kid's name is Prosper. the kid turned out ok, with much united prayer and the grace of Christ.

do you see a trend about the sickness coming from this town? and i have another story. my teacher from YWAM, Gemma, decided with his husband that they were called to minister in Mkata. Gemma told me that she had to be admitted to the hospital 3 times with malaria and thyphoid fever. my classmate, Maggie, contracted thyphoid fever when she was in Mkata, too. that's where i was sick for my one day.

anyway, what i'm getting at is this: i'm asking my friends and family to please cry out to God for mercy upon this place. this town in under a curse, and it is way over time for it to be broken. i know that God is desiring to accomplish great things in this little town. so please pray with me for God's saving grace to destroy the strongholds on Mkata, Tanzania.

News...

i received an email today from Gemma, my teacher when i attended YWAM in Tanzania. so told me some sad news, and truly i am broken in my heart. my eyes are trying to hold back the tears, but it's not working.

the reason for my sadness is this wonderful woman has gone home to her Maker.

this is yunis. you might remember the photo of her when i posted more than a year ago. Yunis has the most happy eyes of any one i have ever met. her eyes danced with joy. it still makes me smile when i see her in my mind's eye. she loved me from the moment we met. i hardly knew any swahili, but that did not stop yunis from talking with me. she forced me to use the little swahili which i knew. and another thing, this woman worshipped her Savior with passion. it radiated from her. Yunis and her husband Mapunda were the most gracious people. Mapunda is the guy on the left, then Japheth, then Abraham.

this is what i wrote when i was in tanzania about Yunis.

one of our projects for the second week was to help put a roof on a small church in the middle of a corn field which located about 4 miles from our base. mostly that consisted of the guys pounding nails thru small tree trunks used as the tressing. plastic bags sewn together were used as the roofing material. pastor mapunga and his wife, yunis, made a tremendous impact on my life. they were serving in a church in Dar Es Salaam when they both felt like they were being called to mkata to open a new church. that's courage, bravery and humility all mixed together. pastor has a heart to know people and to see them come to know Jesus. and Yunis's heart is so gentle, yet she possesses one of the strongest faiths which i've ever seen. she's been diagnosed with breast cancer and travels to dar es salaam ever other week for injections. they don't have a cell phone, live in a 2 room house with a tin roof, don't have a post office box or address, and are people of purpose. they are trusting God to give them members for their little church and healing for the wife's cancer. and i believe they will see the effects of these two prayer requests.


Yunis took me in and from the moment she met me, she tried to get me to speak swahili and express myself. she was patient with me when i stumbled thru my broken swahili, and she continued to speak slowly so i could attempt to understand her questions. she's the first person i've found so far who tried to speak slowly so i could understand. one can recognize that she's an amazing person by one look into her eyes; she just has a way about her that radiates light and kindness. i had opportunities to spend quite a bit of time with this couple the second and third weeks in mkata, and i've come to love them thru that time. yet i may never contact them again, since they have no means of being contacted, except personal visits.

it feels like yesterday when i wrote about Yunis.

Love Dare

i'm absolutely loving this book called Love Dare. i cannot recommend it enough for married couples. I picked up a copy from family christian store, and bought a couple more copies from wal-mart. so far i've accomplished each of my challenges without much effort, yet the amount of time and thoughtfulness it takes to accomplish them is benefitting troy and me leaps and bounds. i can tell that troy is absolutely loving it. he loves getting emails and notes of encouragement.

yesterday kimberly and i were chatting and she mentioned to me about what God is revealing to her. her heart is set on these verses: [Mark 10.43-44 Not so with you. Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be slave of all.] guess she wanted to share the joy of serving others. then i was working on my lesson in the daniel bible study last night, and of course, those verses were mentioned. in my love dare lesson for yesterday, this verse was illustrated: [Phil 2.3 Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves.] think God is up to something in my life? i would say He's trying to get my attention for sure.

btw, troy is the one with the nasty feet. you can give him a hard time about it. i give you permission. wink wink.

CVS Deals

oh how i love cvs. they certainly offer some killer deals. see below for the deals i've found.

lacey graced me with a cvs gift card card for my b-day. i used $12.55, but received $10.99 extra care bucks back from my purchase. So that means i still have $18.44 left to spend after today's purchase. nothing like trying to drag out my b-day.

did you catch that i got these 5 items for $1.50. the lamisil normally runs for over $10. gotta love coupons!

Giving & Getting Things

[Freely you have received, freely give. Matt. 10.8]

i've been downloading stuff lately. trying to sell my wedding dress on craigslist, donating books to our church, giving misc. kitchen and household items to goodwill, etc. it's good for the soul to give up stuff. it feels good to release that stuff to someone.

God has really been working on me to give up. i can see the process happening now that i take time to look back. so far for my b-day i've been given two things, and both of those things i've felt lead to give away. i know the people whom i've given the gifts will benefit from them. that brings me great joy.

so i came across this book. go there and click the sample chapter for a preview. it's daily challenges for spouses, yet i can see where they would be beneficial for all relationships. i love daily challenges - ask lacey. i like for people to challenge me to do something i need to put effort into to accomplishing. the first challenge in the book is go all day without saying something negative. that takes thought and consideration. that challenge wasn't too bad; yet, i'm afraid if we would've had the kids, i may not have fared so well. my negativity comes out more when i need to be the mom... troy and i struggle to be on the same page of parenting. there's a definite connection between (un)control/directing/disciplining/entertaining/family time and the amount of stress that causes me. thank the Lord for his amazing grace which He gives out freely. freely i have received, freely i should give.

troy and i have been talking about our different parenting styles. he's mostly ok with the kids playing their video games for 8 hours a day. he feels like since the kids don't get to play their games when they are with their mom, that it's his responsiblity to allow them to play their games at our house. i can't lie, i'm really struggling with that, and the amount of time we lack playing together as a family. i feel we don't really connect in meaningful conversation as a family. the kids do there thing, troy does his thing, and i'm stuck somewhere in the middle trying to figure out where i fit into this crew. guess that's my vent for the day. so with that being said, i covet your prayers - that troy and i could work as a team, that we'd be playing on the same page, and that we'd become a supportive family unit by the grace and love of Christ.

troy and i had a really fun night last night. he took me out to find a book (the one listed above), then to dinner and a movie. we saw the family that preys by tyler perry. i was impressed with troy - he went all night without watching any tv. (that's nearly a miracle for him.) what the means to me is that he gave me his undivided attention. what a wonderful b-day gift! my love language is quality time. spend time with me to show me that you care about me. that's just how i roll. troy's love language is words of affirmation. tell him how important he is, and he'll be walking on top of the world.

so what i've learned from being married for four plus months is that when troy is gone all week long, i don't get my quality time, then i'm less likely to say kind things to him. i lose my close connection/affection, so i struggle with building him up. when i lack in giving compliments, troy lacks in giving me the undivided, quality time i desperately desire. so when i say harsh words to him (because i'm not feeling 'loved') it tears him down more than i could ever know. i'm not a words of affirmation person - nor am i a gifts person. (as exemplified by giving away my b-day gifts.) you can say something rude to me, and i'll be hurt for a little while, but i'll forget about it. for troy, he holds onto those hurtful statements. taming my tongue is another lesson God is teaching me.

this post is not going the direction i had originally intended. oh well, guess i had some stuff inside that needed to come out.

i'm looking forward to going out with my friends tomorrow night. (quality time!) i'm looking forward to camping with my family this weekend. (quality time without electronics.) i'm looking forward to what this year holds. my thirties have been truly exhilarating - like a zip line.

Strength and Understanding

found one of my Sara Groves CD's at the messiah house last week (or was that the week before? - who knows!) anyway, been listening to it at work. i adore sara groves. if someone were to ask me, 'if you can hang with anyone in the world for a day, who would it be?', i think today i would answer sara groves. she fascinates me with the depth and soul in her songs. she's folky, yet amusing.

the song, song for my sons has gripped my attention this week. these are the lyrics which get my attention:

This is a song for my sons for when they understand it
You know how life is full, you know we couldn't plan it
your dad and I prayed for strength and understanding
for things we couldn't see or comprehend

there's something nearly magical about the line - 'your dad and i prayed...' since michael and alex are biologically Troy's sons and not mine, it adds an interesting element to the possessive word, 'your'. the boys are mine, too, yet they are troy and jeannie's kids. i'm probably not making any sense. michael and alex have become 'my' kids. yesterday i was asked by our financial advisor if i have any kids, and i stuttered for a second - then said, 'yes, yes i do have 2 kids.' it's taking me a little time to realize that i'm responsible for 2 kids, partly beacuse we only have them for 4 days a month.

michael called troy's yesterday to him about his mid-term report card. he has some A's, some B's and a C. we are so proud of him, (and jeannie for working with him on his homework.) alex didn't get his grades yet, so we are waiting to hear that outcome. i'm really proud of alex for stepping up, and wanting to be part of the Christmas play at church. i'm looking forward to seeing him be a tv star. he's gonna be great!

God has been very gracious to troy and i over the last week. i can't really go into much detail about it, but both of us have had opportunities to see the hand of God move in our lives.

i started a bible study with the women from our church this week. it will be good, just a little different format than i was anticipating. it will take me a bit to adjust, but overall i think it's a great way to meet some other women from the church. on a side note, i'm praying for opportunities for troy to get more involved at the church. (it's really hard with his work schedule.)

i'm making a commitment to start going to gym again. i've slacked long enough. troy and i were discussing areas in our lives where we needed to recommit to Christ. mine was about taking care of my body. i think too often when we are recommitting areas of our lives to Christ, we tend to only focus on the 'spiritual' stuff. i've learned man is made of up of 5 parts: emotional, spiritual, physical, social, and mental.

i have two questions:

so what areas in your life need to be recommitted to Christ?

if you can hang with anyone in the world for a day, who would it be?

Time

not sure where all the time has gone. i can barely remember all that's happened since my last update. i might need to work backwards, from recent to 2 weeks ago.

i got a call from a good friend on labor day, letting me know that her dad had passed away. her dad, dave swier, was like a second father to me. dave always had a kind word to say, a good story to tell, and two ears attuned to listening. he lived a godly life, and was an example to his family on how to play, laugh, and love one another. i'm a better person for having known dave. on tuesday i found a plane ticket to fly to sodak for the thursday funeral. since my parents were in town visiting (hold on, i'll write more about that in a bit...), troy dropped us all off at the airport. my flight took off wednesday afternoon about 4 and my parent's flight about 6. God has amazing orchestration.

i'm a little bummed that troy wasn't able to make the trip with me, but his work duties took priority. it was the first time that troy was at the house without me. since he's out of town 2-3 nights a week, i'm used to him being gone. he keeps commenting about how odd it was to sleep in the bed without me. he's been really supportive throughout this entire time with me traveling out of town and him working. overall it was probably good for him to be without me for a few days. gotta love being appreciated!

so back to the story - my flight landed about 7.20pm on wednesday night. i took my parent's hooptie out of the parking lot and drove to the prayer service for dave. i arrived just as it was ending, but i still was able to connect with several people whom i've not seen for quite some time. my friend, deena, looked into my eyes and just broke down. then she mentioned that she'd been fine until she saw me. guess that's the effect kids have on their moms. :D she really has been like a mom to me throughout my life. she and her husband, burke, have walked me through many challenges in life. they've been my spiritual mentors, and loving supporters throughout my life. it was good to share our grief together.

after several minutes of chatting with people in the foyer, it was time to go and meet the family. it was a odd feeling walking to the front of the church, and seeing dave laying in the casket. normally dave would be standing there, with his arms wide open and a huge smile on his face. he was just that type of guy. i remember that is how i saw dave on our wedding day - huge smile and a wonderful hug. i will never forget that amazing smile and his tender embrace. even now as i think of dave, my eyes are filling with tears because he loved me and i loved him.

cindy and dave invited me to be part of their family. each of their 5 kids are 2 years apart. i am 2 years older than their eldest, my good friend, laura. so when i think about dave, i think about how he has seen his 3 oldest kids get married (one is me), has seen the birth of his first grandbaby (nolan), and his kids graduate from college. i remember when i was about to leave for africa and how the swiers invited me to their house to tell them what i would be doing. then they prayed for me before i left. those prayers availed much in africa. and when i got back from africa, they again invited me into their home to share of the beautiful adventure in tanzania. they listened with great enthusiasm. they asked great questions, too. they weren't overly concerned when i told them about the kids whom i taught who were HIV positive. ;-)

back to the story (again). after the service, laura and paul rode with me to the airport to pick up my parents. my parents took the hooptie to their house and i stayed at the swier's. we stayed up late telling stories, enjoying each other's company and just being us. that is the way dave would've wanted it - all his family together, joking around and having a good time with one another.

thursday came and the funeral was sad, yet hopeful. the video of many pictures and stories was wonderful. after the graveside service, we all went back to the swier's house and had more fellowship. there were many people over there. the weather was truly beautiful during the day - the sun shining and a light breeze, barely a cloud in the sky.

friday we mostly hung out, went to eat lunch at a place called 'k' - it's at 8th and railroad center downtown. after dining the girls walked thru some cool shops, and the guys went to do their guy thing. we all hooked up for a few rounds of geocaching - girls against the guys. for the record, the girls found all three caches. annie swier is the mack-daddy at geocaching. she's 'all up in it' - as we say in the south. after geocaching we headed back to the farm for some games and pizza. since my flight left at 6am on saturday i went to bed a about 11.30. that was the end of my sodak trip.

i'll have to finish the story later about my parents coming to visit.

Concerts

so most of the time troy and i click about nearly everything. there's one area where our 7 years difference in age causes us to not click: music. i'm not even sure what types of bands he likes, but i can nearly guarantee it's not what i get the most pleasure from. yet i'm learning to chill out and listen to whatever - unless we are on our way to church... (i just can't seem to handle 80's rock music with the electric guitars (not that i ever like that music)!

so i found this concert, but there aren't any atlanta dates yet. (my first name is written in 'aren't any atlanta') so i'm really, really hoping they book one atlanta date... this concert looks amazing.
ArtMusicJustice!

Updates

troy and i (and the boys) have decided that we're committed to TLC Church. the kiddos mostly decided for us, but troy and i are excited about committing to a church home. i've already committed to a women's bible study beginning in september. looking forward to getting to know some of the other women, and studying the book of Daniel.

my parents are coming into town over labor day weekend. not sure what we'll end up doing, but we've been planning a few things. don't you just love surprises?

troy's birthday is coming up in about week. he's given me about a thousand suggestions about what to give him, but unfortunately most of them require lots of cash. here's a list: a corvette z06, a vw van with the pop-up camper, some type of lift kit to lower his truck, a new bumber for his truck, etc. mr. high maintenance may be unimpressed with what he actually gets from me on his his first birthday with me in his life. (then again, did he have a life before me?) just kidding.

we are house-sitting for some friends of mine this weekend. it's like a beautiful break from normal life for me. i'm looking forward to spending some time in the hammock. not sure troy is as excited about this adventure as i am, but he'll be okay.

Oddities

seems odd to me that 1/2 way across the world there is a war. the people in georgia and russia seem to be brawling. i don't even know what a war of that calibre would be like. yet, i know what it feels like to have dissension. i'm not really comparing the two, but there is great hurt involved in both types. i was reading an article on cnn about that war. i see that the georgians are pulling their troops from iraq in order to battle on the home front. that's rough. yet, there has to be a reason for it all: freedom.

people fight for freedom. freedom is not free. i have said that phrase many times, and i may go to my grave saying that. the freedom that i receive from Christ on a daily basis comes at a price. there was a great sacrifice, involving a life, two thousand years ago. yesterday during church i was reminded of that. the sacrifice was because of something i was bound to - something which ruled my life and held me captive. if i return to those things which oppressed me, i might as well tell Christ that His sacrifice wasn't enough. so am i living a life which displays freedom? or am i living a life like a defeated person who has no hope that tomorrow shall be better than today? am i living a life which is aiming at perfection, or i am failing to live up to the life Christ calls me to live? are there sins in my life which i have become accustom to live with - and i justify them because they make me feel good? for these sins, am i seeking God's guidance, and am i asking friends to hold me accountable to stay on the straight and narrow?am i being honest with my husband about the way i feel, or am i holding back in fear that i may hurt his feelings?

troy and i have been married 3 months now. it's been a great 3 months. we have had some trying times, but overall the transition from singleness to married wife has been quite smooth. troy has definitely made it easy to fall into that married roll. our biggest trials involved parenting styles and money. big surprise there, huh?

i'm getting a little tired of steve fee's song, lift high. when are the broken people going to realize that they are made whole in Christ? how many times do i need to lift up my head in order to realize that my chains are undone and my ransom paid? just curious.

went to a certain church yesterday. wasn't so impressed. neither troy nor i were ever spoken to by anyone throughout their entire service. i need a friendly church - somewhere i feel wanted and welcomed. i may be the exception to the rule, but i like those 'meet and greet' moments during church when someone is nearly required to say, 'hello' to me.

Oh how i love CVS

took another journey to CVS today with troy. purchased the following items:

CVS is running a deal on Lamisilk foot cream and that's my favorite kind of foot cream. makes my feet (and troy's) silky soft. this week if you buy 2 lotions, you'll get $10 extra care bucks. lucky for me, i had 2 coupons for lamisilk lotion, both for $3 off and some other extra care bucks coupons equalling $7. also i had a coupon for $.99 (a free cvs chapblock).

see receipt:

ok, so i paid $9.97 after all the coupons. So get this: at the bottom of the receipt, printed my $10 coupon. so that totalled my purchased today at -$.03 plus 2 tubes of lotions, a packages of tylenol and some chapblock. i absolutely love cvs.

troy just shakes his head then says, i spend what you save. (gotta love my husband's honesty.)

Frugal

so i've been looking around the apartment for things i (we) could sell for a little extra cash. so far i've conned denise into buying my guitar for $75 and have listed my wedding dress on craigslist. i'm thinking of selling my beloved GPS, but i don't think i can out of it what it is worth to me. it's an ifinder PhD, worth about $175. so if you know anyone who might want a handheld GPS for a decent price, let me know.

i've been checking out different people's blogs regarding their frugal life-styles. some people take it a little to the extreme, but i don't see anything wrong in using our money in the most effecient way possible. for me, buying a sunday paper more than pays for itself each week. i use many of the coupons to save some cash for items we need, as you could see from my last shopping experience at cvs. don't get me wrong, i can definitely see where the $.50 coupon off of 3 boxes of cereal seem completely ridiculous, but did you know you can use 3 different $.50 coupons for the same 3 boxes of cereal? most people don't realize that. then you'll be saving $1.50 for the 3 boxes - this is how the coupons can save money. just a suggestion.

so i tried to take troy's truck for an oil change at my local auto repair shop, but there was a note on the door, 'Gone racin. Be back Monday.' gotta love small fix-it shops. guess the oil change will need to wait a day or two.

for a wedding gift troy and i received nascar race tickets to a great race in miami. last night troy found us some killer airline tickets so we are flying down there instead of driving - the tickets equal less than we'd be paying in gasoline. definitely makes the flight worthwhile. also, i'm looking forward to flying somewhere again. about every 6 months i like to take a little flight out of town.

i keep thinking of things to write, but now that i'm married - i feel like i shouldn't share the things troy and i talk about for all the world to read. guess there's a privacy line required for those interesting discussions. all i know is that troy has some super funny things he says, and he could probably say the same for me. I love being married to him.

what's up with insurance not covering the cost of birth control? i'm pretty excited cuz i found a coupon which takes $35 off my next prescription, but still at $65 a month for the pill, i'm nearly going broke. yet, hear me out, it's ALL worth it! it's so much less expensive than the alternative.

guess i'm rambling something terrible today.

Music

found a new artist: Alli Rogers. it's often amazing to me how i can find a song with lyrics that speak directly to my heart at exactly the time when i need it the most.

tanzania

It’s eight hours later in Tanzania
When Jen lays down
Mary’s just opening her eyes
Her child’s feet land on the ground
and dirt scatters
And she feels left out in the open
always left out in the open
She says, “son, wear my shoes to school today”
He turns and smiles and walks away
and she thinks to herself…

Someday I will wake
where the earth is clean and safe
My children have a place to play
not here in Tanzania
And someday I will live
in a house that’s built by
hands that hold the world

It’s eight hours earlier in Chattanooga
Mary sits down and Jen’s just put the coffee on
Katie Couric is talking news and fashion
and Jen feels pushed into a corner
always pushed into a corner, she says
“Baby I know what girls at school are like”
And her daughter rides off on her bike
and Jen thinks to herself…

Someday I will wake
where my children get a break
And there are chances that they’ll take
not here in Chattanooga
Someday I will live
in a house that’s built by
hands that hold the world

Well it’s hard to be mother
and it’s hard to be a woman
and it’s hard to live in Africa sometimes
It’s hard to be mother
and it’s hard to be a woman
and it’s hard to live in America sometimes

But someday I will wake
in a body that won’t break
On ground that doesn’t shake, not here
And someday I will live
in a house that’s built by hands that hold the world

y i <3 cvs

just got back from cvs. i absolutely love that store. it is by far, hands down, my favorite store in the whole world. i feel like the world's greatest shopper every time i walk out of that store. it's amazing. troy loves getting my call after my cvs trips. you should ask him how much he loves my calls after my shopping excursions to cvs.

allow me to explain the reason for my deep devotion to cvs.

below is a photo of the items i purchased this evening.


let me list the items with their sale prices:
dawn dish soap (.88)
one bottle of gillette shower wash (3.99)
2 bottles of pert plus shampoo (b1g1 @ 3.69)
crest toothpaste (2.49)
oral b toothbrush (2.49)
2 types of covergirl foundation (b1g1 @ 7.99)
2 bottles of women's multi vitamins (b1g1 @ 8.99)

how much do you think you should pay for all these items? i'm not going to add up the original cost of all of them, but i would guess somewhere around 40 bucks.

see the following receipt for what i paid:

ok, so you might see all those coupons taken off. those are all from this week's ads from the sunday paper and some extra care bucks coupons from the cvs store. what you can't see from the receipt is that is says today you saved $44.92.

but wait! there's more.
at the bottom of my receipt i have some extra care bucks for $3 off my next purchase and a coupon for some free chapblock. in sunday's paper is a mail in rebate for the pert plus. if i were to spend $5 for pert plus, i will receive $5 rebate. (not sure they will accept this deal, because i haven't spent $5 yet, so i'll need to buy 2 more bottles (minus a $2 coupon from the paper).
so that deal after mail in rebate, after coupons, after store sale will be:
4 bottles of pert plus for
3.69 x 2 = 7.38
minus 2 $2 off coupons = 3.38
minus the $5 rebate
= 4 bottles of pert plus and $1.62 in my pocket.

so in all reality , i spent less than $11 for the whole lot of items. dont you want to run to cvs for some shopping?

Truth Like a Knife

sometimes the truth cuts like a knife... deep and painful.

this post may end up being a myriad of thoughts - mangled together like a cup of goulash.

since i've been married, i've learned that i have a tons of pet peeves - i knew i had them before, but they come out more when people are intimately involved in my life. this one: i like clean floors. i like to walk around the house barefooted on clean carpet and linoleum. i dislike sticky/chunky/messy floors. walking thru the sticky kitchen floor makes me irritated. stepping on crunchy cereal and those crunchy noodles while walking across the carpet gets my goat. (i need all hardwood floors.)

so i lost it this weekend. troy got more than an earful - i broke his heart and started his sunday morning off in a terrible way. (guess i wanted to share the misery.)

with that being said, troy and i are still making up. guess it was our first argument which amounted to me telling my thoughts and troy getting hurt. i don't like me when i behave that way. proof that i need grace in a bad way. i'm so grateful for my husband who offers grace freely.

[my God,
some times life gets messy. proverbs 27.6 says, 'wounds from a friend can be trusted.' so i'm calling out to You for the ability to trust that things will work out. i need to believe that Your grace is sufficient, even for me. You are able to change things, and i am taking You at Your word. fill me with Your grace that i may be able to share it, instead of breathe vile fire. I've seen You prove Yourself time and time again in my life, and i know You won't let me down. i open myself up to You to break me; burn up the hurt, brokenness, and pride within me. the process of getting fine metals is not an easy one, yet i want to know Your kiln. i'm climbing back on your altar again, and asking for mercy. help me to be a gracious and loving mom, wife and friend.]

My Boss

so i have a great boss. i can't speak highly enough of him. so my boss, another co-worker and i are all in the kitchen and he tells us a story (all the while he's cleaning up the kitchen - taking out the trash, replacing the paper towels, etc.) so here's the story: he asked our service manager, 'how much do you think one of these bags of trash weighs?' the service manager replies, 'i'm not sure.' then my boss's comeback, 'well, you might want to pick one out of the trash can every now and then so you know.'

classic! that's just golden right there.

so troy's dad's sixtieth b-day party is tomorrrow. troy's picking up the kiddos tonight. ahh, a story about the kiddos. so last night lacey, shottie, denise and i went out to eat dinner. lacey asked the question, 'so when do your boys go back to school?' i wasn't really paying attention to whom she was talking to, so i thought she was talking to me. then denise answered the question. so i realized the the question was directed at denise, but it dawned on me that i'm getting to be more of a mom than i thought. i absolutely love michael and alex (and their dad too!). btw, their first day of school is the eleventh of August.

Swirls

if only i were a little smarter, then i could know how to make designs which look like this.

Lazy Weekend

ah - how i love lazy weekends. it's a beautiful thing when we don't need to drive very much. the most we drove was to marrieta to look for an apartment. we found a couple decent prospects.

troy and i stopped in to see my old boss on saturday. i just love ed. he's got this huge heart. it was good to connect with him again. glad that troy had opportunity to meet him and spend a little time together.

i just found out that my grandma is in the hospital. guess she wasn't feeling well last night, so she went to the hospital in madison. the folks in madison sent her packing to the heart hospital in sioux falls. they'll be running some tests all day. please say a little prayer for her and my family.

ah, it's very monday today. i could've spent another couple hours laying in bed this morning. i took a few extra minutes rolling out of bed, but it just wasn't enough.

highlights from the weekend:
dixie motor speedway
napping on sunday
good conversations with troy
chatting with ed
visiting browns bridge church
lunch with lacey
apartment hunting
a little ice cream from bruster's
troy's brownies with icing

Possession

i think today is the first day that i thought of my white car (kelly) as troy's. it no longer belongs to only me. it has become our car. the truck on the other hand - it is still troy's truck. i can't seem to bring myself to think of it as 'ours'. it's a beautiful truck, but it may always be troy's truck.

i'm a cheap person. that's a bold statement, yet i feel like i live up to it. i cannot imagine ever paying $13,000+ as a monthly mortgage. to me, that is not in my thinking. i don't want to pay more for a car payment than i do a house payment, (but we are). i grew up in a family who worked very hard for their money, and each dollar was accounted for. the Lord got His part, and the rest seemed to work itself out. i've never been 'well-off', but i am grateful for what the Lord has blessed me with. currently i make more than my parents put together. (ok so that's a awkward thought for me, but i wanted to write it. for the record: my mom is not working, and my dad recently took a different position at his job. it's not that i make huge amounts of money, yet God has truly blessed me with an amazing employer who is incredibly gracious.) ok, so back to my original thought, cheapness. i work hard for my money and i account for each dollar. some months that is easier than others.

there's a book called, 'don't waste your life' by john piper. i know i might hurt some feelings on this and we can discuss it later, but the back cover of this book keeps resounding in my head and heart. here's what it it says:

John Piper writes, 'I will tell you what a tragedy is. I will show you how to waste your life. Consider this story from the February 1998 Reader's Digest: A couple 'took early retirement form their jobs in the Northeast five years ago when he was 59 and she was 51. Now they live in Punta Gorda, Florida, where they cruise on their 30-foot trawler, play softball and collect shells...' Picture them before Christ at the great day of judgment: 'Look, Lord. See my shells.' That is a tragedy.

what am i doing in my life from become this tragedy? unfortunately right now i feel like i'm drifting along - trying to keep my head above water. i work, then go home, just go back to work the next morning. the weekends - i spend with troy and the kids. i wonder - does any of that have an impact on the kingdom of God? is my life making an eternal impact? and why am i designed to think that unless i'm on a different continent - that my life is boring, unproductive and useless? these are my thoughts today. it's these thoughts which cause me to not want to go to the beach, but instead to send the money which we'd be spending on the beach trip to my missionary friends in tanzania, romania, thailand, honduras, south africa, etc.

my husband has his hands full with me. God bless him.

Challenges and Books

so Troy and i are working on coming up with activities, games, etc. that we can do with the kids. we need to find ways to 'play' with the kids. Troy and i both stink at this. (ok, well, i claim to stink at it, and i'm calling out troy that he stinks at it, too.) so we are looking for cheap, fun things to do with the boys where we all need to get involved. i asked the boys to come up with things to do together, and all they could say is play video games. (that says something - doesn't it?) oh, and i asked troy, and he didn't have any. (so i'm trying to do some parenting 101 on my own to come up with creative things to do with the boys.) yet i'm miserably failing. most of the time i stink at this bonus mom stuff.

we were driving in the car back to my office this afternoon and i asked michael how old he thought he would be when he starts to date. he said, '20'. then he went on to say that he's going to have friends who are girls, cuz that way you can get to know their personalities and stuff. (isn't he a great kid?) then he went on to say that he'll he is planning on dating for 5 years before he'll ask the big question. troy and i just about lost it when michael was telling about his dating life. troy went on to say that he's betting a week before michael's 13 birthday he'll have a girlfriend. this coming school year michael is going into middle school, and troy and i are looking forward to seeing what changes occur in this young man.

i have good parents. their prayers are availing much in Troy and my lives. my parents ask for financial blessings over Troy and me, and opportunities for troy and i to be making extra cash keep coming up. amazing how God has answered those prayers.

last friday i drove one of our company vehicles to orlando. i just have to say - there is one thing i look for in a car. guess what it is? it's not AC. its' not a good radio. it's not power windows. i need a car with cruise control. seriously - that is the most important detail in a car - in my humble opinion. of course the van i was priviledge to drive to orlando didn't have it, nor did it have tilt steering, which i've learned is a nice feature also. my foot was nearly cramping up because i am not used to hold it on the peddle for 5 hours straight. i was really grateful when i hooked back up with troy and didn't need to drove more. i needed the break. after working all day, then driving all night - i was ready for a break. that trucking business is for someone other than me.

i can't stop yawning. it's definitely a monday today.

looking forward to having dinner with linda ruste this evening at dos margaritas III in jasper. i love it when sodak folk come down to georgia for a visit. good times.

Click it!

so i did it. i signed up to put ads on my blog. soon you'll notice them. you'll be helping out a sister by clicking them. we'll see how it goes and how long it takes for me to remove them. but i was thinking this might be a way of keeping me on track with blogging. i'm so sporatic now.

going to orlando again tonight. seems like troy is lucky enough to keep getting that run on friday night. i wouldn't even make it if there wasn't a nice bed in the back. i get tired about 11 then go to sleep - and sleep until about 9 am. it's a beautiful trip to orlando.

i changed my blog design, but i need tweak some things about this it - like how to get my meebo and flickr photos to work again. and how to change the time/date.

this is something i like. normally i don't spend much money on pens, but these are the best ones out there. that's a personal opinion, of course, but these are sweet.

Answers

so troy (and i) have come to a decision about the job situation. after some not-so-subtle conclusions, the answer is quite simple. Troy and i were both praying that the answer would be crystal clear - and God certainly made that happen. now we are just waiting to hear some other news to confirm why God wants Troy at the certain company. tomorrow we should know that info.

i really like playing pool. last night i dragged troy with me to play. we originally went to the bowling alley to bowl, but quickly realized that bowling would take too long - the wait time was about 30 minutes. my fear - if i possessed a pool table, i just may not ever turn on the tv. well, i might have to catch an occasional Braves game, but other than that, i'd prolly be ok. unfortunately troy beat me last night, so i'll need to polish my skills a smidge.

i have a friend who is very sick with cancer. this person has impacted my life in a very positive way. he always makes time for me - to converse about my life and catch up on what he has missed since our last conversation. we've played many hands of cards, drunk some coffee, and simply enjoy each other's company. he always makes me feel like i matter. he and his family supported me during my time in africa with gifts and prayers. and so with that being said, i'm asking you to please say a prayer for my friend. he and his beautiful family is really hurting. they would appreciate all the prayers, support and love they can get.

Mysteries

so last week troy was contacted by this former employer regarding having his old job back. (he was laid off from USF Holland in January.) having troy on the road - and trying to communicate my thoughts via cell phones just isn't always the best way for me to express how i really feel. so for a few days i really struggled with the decision. for troy, going back to holland feels comfortable; for me, it feels like insecurity at the max.

late monday and tuesday night last week, God and i had some words. i wasn't very pleased to say the least. my heart felt like it was being ripped out of my chest, and there wasn't anything i could do about it... except cling to the hope of knowing God hasn't ever let me down. it took a couple days to finally let go of what i want, and let God take over. grasping that surrendering attitude isn't easy, but by wednesday, i was having a little more confidence that whatever happens with Troy's job would be ok... that God is big enough to grace me with what i need - strength, comfort, and a spirit of hope.

then something amazing happened. troy's truck (Bessy) got sick - it miraculously wouldn't start. so wednesday night troy got to spend the night at home with me. we had opportunity to talk about the way we both were feeling - my insecurities and his feelings that things will work out for the better. i was able to see into his eyes and see the hope that he had - that intimacy is missed on the phone.

so wednesday night - i just couldn't help but be completely amazed at how God opened up that opportunity for us to have the night together.

and you know what? Thursday, good ole Bessy wasn't feeling well either. so troy had another day off. it was a beautiful thing. Troy and i hadn't had that much time together since before we were married - more than 2 months ago. (can you hardly believe that it's been nearly two months already?)

one more thing that happened on Thursday: his current boss caught wind that he's thinking of jumping ship, so mr. carnes contacted Troy about speaking to him before Troy leaves the company. after being some where less than three months, and having the boss ask you to come in for a chatty-chat before you leave - well, to me that seems like an amazing compliment. apparently troy has made an impression.

so now we are back to square one on our prayers... that tomorrow when Troy speaks to mr. carnes - that God makes it clear (without any doubt) to Troy which company he should work for. there are pros and cons to both jobs - money versus time at home seem to be the big ones. this is one of those times that i pray - and submit to what my husband chooses to do.

oh, to finish my story, on friday Bessy miraculously started right up. surprising, huh? (i don't think so!) so i had opportunity to travel with troy to orlando. we left friday night about 9 thirty and got back to atlanta about 2 thirty on sunday morning.

after spending all that time with Troy over the last couple of days i'm reminded why i love him. he is an incredible person. one of the most understanding people i have ever met. and i'm just lucky enough to be married to him!

Decision

Troy and i have a big decision to make in the next week. it will affect nearly every part of our relationship due to the amount of time we'll be able to spend together.

please pray that we'll make a wise decision.

[James 1.5 If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him.]

about this decision - my heart is torn, i can't sleep, i don't really wanna to eat, yet i'm clinging to the hope that God makes something beautiful out of it. (and i can hang on until that revelations occurs.)

Characteristics

i've fallen off the bandwagon of journaling, but i'm getting back in the wagon. that's my confession for the day. when my life is good, i fall off. when life feels tense, i climb aboard. it's been way too long. after the last couple of days of devouring my bible, searching for a peace which only comes from surrendering to God's sovereignty - i think i'm finally coming back to the basics of life.

so this is my focused prayer:

[Rom 15.5-6 + 13] May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you a spirit of unity among yourselves as you follow Christ Jesus, so that with one heart and mouth you may glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.
endurance, encouragement, hope, spirit of unity, joy, peace, and trust. these are the things i'm praying my marriage will be filled with. these are the qualities i want to mark my life. i want others to see these characteristic in me. i want our kids and my husband to know that i long to radiate these Christ-like characteristics.

[my God, i call out to You for help. You know what i need, and i'm learning what pleases you. i'm calling out for You to help me radiate these qualities: endurance, encouragement, hope, spirit of unity, joy, peace, and trust. I've seen them all displayed in the ways You care for me; now i want to return the favor. Your favor is such an awesome blessing. in Your Name, i bind sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. come, Holy Spirit, and fill our hearts. Amina.]

for the last couple of days i've felt as though one of my vertebrae is out of place. because of the pain in my back, i didn't sleep well last night. now it's 8.44 and i feel like going to sleep. yet, the olympic trials are on tv and i can't seem to pull myself away. there's something amazing about watching someone break a world record. good thing they will finish in the next 15 minutes.

i'm not a pigeon fan.

troy has worked a ton of hours in the last 2 days. he's somewhere down in florida tonight and should be back in georgia tomorrow night. he's traveled to miami this morning, and tomorrow he'll be in jacksonville. that boy gets around. i'm looking forward to spending some time with him this weekend.

not sure if i'm going to trivia tomorrow night or not. might try out a new location - freehome.

troy and i really need to find a church home. we both are looking for a church which offers small groups, contemporary worship style and a casual environment. troy really wants to get involved in serving in some ministry, and i love leading women's bible studies. oh, and we are looking for foreign missions involvement, too. so we'll see where we end up.

it's now six to nine.

my dad is in cedar rapids for a few days - helping people who have suffered from the floods. he'll be great at working to clean up the mess left behind from all that water. and my dad always has a good story to tell.

my folks got their tickets to come for a visit during labor day. looking forward to that.

Some Things

so i've been listening more attentively what people are saying lately. I think being married to mr. sensitive is opening me up to being more sensitive towards what others are saying non-verbally. so this morning i wanted to list a few of my prayers.

c - for the hurt she holds inside from the loss of a spouse.
p - for her son who has back pains and went to the hospital.
j - for the need of forgiveness and grace she so desperately is calling out for.
l - for having to lead her family thru a very difficult situation.
d - for adjusting to life with boys who need love.
s - for being a father-figure to boys who need a loving father.
s - for mercy and grace during a mission trip.
c - for safe travels back from vacation.
m & d - for grace during this transisition in their lives.
t - for financial wisdom and blessings.

not sure what troy and my plans are for the weekend. surely he'll come up with something entertaining to do.

Braves

took an adventure to the braves game last night with the messiah house. we had a lot of fun; too bad the brewers kicked butt.

took the day off from work today and sat with troy in court. because of a change in his pay, he had to modify his financial obligations for his child support. i hadn't ever been to trial court like that before. there was a couple just ahead of the brown's case - the couple was getting divorced. the divorce was uncontested, took about 10 minutes to complete, and broke my heart every one of the seconds they were standing up there. no wonder God hates divorce.

btw, troy's case went quite good - he'll be paying significantly less for child support now. that's good for us. we are still praying for his house on the south side of atlanta to sell, but this decrease in child support will certainly help us. perhaps my readers could join us in praying for the house to sell.

while i'm on a role with prayer requests... the catch to paying less in child support is that now the ex-wife will need to come up with other ways to find money to pay for the bills. and there is one bill (the house payment specifically) which will need to be paid because it is already late.

Twittering

so i've fallen into it. not sure if i'll ever use it, but i have it loaded. guess now you can follow my rants, joys and cares. thanks denise.

twitter

Interesting Reads

so the last couple of days have been wild. stuff with troy's ex-wife and the boys... i'm not going into any details, but it's been an interesting ride - frustrating, stressful, and at times - unbelieveable. so it comes with great joy that the ladies in my office have brought in some great reading material.

some of our local papers publish the greatest articles. you'll have to click and read if you need a good laugh - i know this week i really needed the laugh and it came at exactly the right time. I love how God gives us that little boost of sunshine in the midst of the drudgery.


article one (once you click the link, you'll need to go to page six and read the article about roping a deer.

article two

now if you don't see these articles as funny, you better check to see if your heart is still pumping.

for some wedding blissfulness, check out this link.

Random Update

so a few things have happened since my last update. i've ridden in Troy's truck down to orlando for a day. during that trip we had the 'free disney tour by trozay'. Troy gave me a great tour of disney, including ice cream from some wonderful chocolate place. (i'm really bad with names, sorry.)

we've had the kids for 8 weekends staight. well, we've had some help with the boys a couple weekends - and that i am so grateful for. this last weekend we didn't have to drive very much and it was great. saturday we went fishing, then to dixie motor speedway for Troy's father's day event. we all had a great time. yesterday we spent some time at the pool. it was fun just hanging out and not having to drive hours and hours like most weekends. the relaxing weekend helped both Troy and me too. i think next weekend we are off duty as parents, so i'm really looking forward to some free time. i wanna give a special shout-out to Troy's parents for helping us out with the kids.

let's see, what else is going on in my world. i've been missing africa a lot the last couple days. i keep thinking of swahili words, and translating english into swahili. ninaweza kusema kiswahili. i spoke with my friend, japheth, this morning. he and i were remembered the days when we'd sneak off to Boma so we could get some cokes. those were the days.

Troy and I combined our t-mobile plans. i thought for sure that I'd have to cancel my plan, then add my line onto his phone, but that's wasn' the case. t-mobile actually allowed us to combine plans withouth any extra fees. and now Troy and I save about 40 bucks a month because we are on one plan. i'm pretty excited about that.

been reading in Romans latey. reading about how our sufferings will be honored... that message speaks volumes into my life right now.

Peace

so i've been praying for peace in our family. and with the prayers comes some mediation on this verse:
[Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid. John 14.27]
so as i ponder peace, and this Jesus who gives it, i begin to think about my responsibility to peace. am i the one representing peace to my family? does troy recognize peace in me? do the kids see that i'm offering them peace? or am i acting in the opposite way - uptight, filled with anxiety, etc? unfortunately i've not been so great at displaying peace around them.

so yesterday i was listening to pandora and sara groves's song 'loving a person' came on. here are the lyrics:

Loving a person just the way they are, it's no small thing
It takes some time to see things through
Sometimes things change, sometimes we're waiting
We need grace either way
Hold on to me
I'll hold on to you
Let's find out the beauty of seeing things through
There's a lot of pain in reaching out and trying
It's a vulnerable place to be
Love and pride can't occupy the same spaces baby
Only one makes you free
Hold on to me
I'll hold on to you
Let's find out the beauty of seeing things through
If we go looking for offense
We're going to find it
If we go looking for real love
We're going to find it

God has an amazing way of using the lyrics to songs by sara groves to pull me closer to His heart. i remember when i was in tanzania, and was lovely and missing everything 'normal', and He brought one of sara groves songs into my life. the song is called 'He's always been faithful'. here are the lyrics:
Morning by morning I wake up to find the power and comfort of God's hand in mine. Season by season I watch him amazed, in awe of the mystery of his perfect ways. . Chorus: All I have need of his hand will provide. He's always been faithful to me. I can't remember a trial or a pain he did not recycle to bring me gain. I can't remember one single regret in serving God only and trusting his hand. This is my anthem, this is my song, the theme of the stories I've heard for so long. God has been faithful, he will be again. His loving compassion, it knows no end.

From A to B

when my mom came to visit during the georgian wedding reception, i gave her some advice: 'step out of your type A personality, and climb into type B... pleaseeee.'

unforunately that advice is coming back to haunt me. i've never thought of myself as much of a type A person, but the more i'm around troy and the kids, i'm definitely type A. so it's a little frustrating for me right now... normally i'm the laid back person who allows things to roll with the punches, but lately i feel as though i'm forcing the punches. before i was married, i made all my life's decision; now it feels like i barely get to make a decision other than 'do i get out of bed on time, or wait until i need to rush?'.

when troy and i were dating, we had the kids every other weekend, with the exception of one time, we had the kids 2 weekends in a row. since we've been married, we've had the kids every weekend - that's 4 weekends, and we'll have them again next weekend due to father's day. this has been quite challenging for me - i won't lie. it's not that i don't love the time with the kids, cuz i do... it's just that i only get to see my husband on the weekends, and when we have the kids, our focus is on them, and not each other. the quality time i desire from troy has been limited to phone calls and an occasional minute or two on the couch watching spongebob. joy.

this parenting thing is challenging. man, it's challenging. i'm not gonna say much more than that, but it's hard work. much harder than coming into my safe, green office everyday. i keep trying to remind myself of two things: 1) God is the only One who can change hearts, and 2) respect is better earned than demanded.

troy just called me and asked if i wanted to go to orlando tomorrow?!?!? huh? are you serious? so he's been asked to work on friday, which he thought he'd be off. he's trying to work it out that his dad will take the kids for the weekend, so he and i can drive to orlando all night on friday night/saturday morning and be back on sunday morning. this is the way my life rolls these day. right about the time i try to make some plans... the plans change.

my life is out of control. have i always been a control freak and didn't know it? it's a little scary to me.

jonny

another shout out: i have a cousin whose name is jonny. he graduated from an air force academy this past tuesday. you may have seen his picture:

you can see a video here for more info.

congrats jonny!

shout out

i'm giving a big shout out to denise and steven. today is their 10th anniversary, and i'm so proud of them.

when i was 25 i was going thru a 'quarter life' crisis. i was living in south dakota, working 3 jobs, and pretty much unhappy with the way my life was going. i didn't really have any direction at the time. oh, and i was playing on 2 softball teams - one church league and one women's league.

in the summer of 2001 i decided to take a little vacation by myself. i got in my car and started driving. i had friends all over the usa and wanted to see all of them. so first i drove to atlanta to meet with denise and steven. denise's mom, cheryl, was in town visiting for a few days when i arrived. so we had a great time for 2 days, playing cards and hanging out by the pool. from that visit, denise invited me to live with her and steven. so in october of 2001, my dad and mom helped me to move to georgia.

the day before i got into town, denise and steven had to move into a 2 bedroom apartment so there would be enough room for all of us. so we all moved in together. that's just one example of how generous of people they both are. they both would give everything they have to help out a friend in need. i lived with them until i moved to africa last february. i think we moved about every year - from woodstock to marietta to the black diamond to jasper.

we had some of the best times of my life together. i can't say 'thanks' enough for all they've done for me. they've truly been used by God to shape my life for the better. i am a better person because they've given me a helping hand when i needed it the most. it was a wonderful honor for me to have both of them in our wedding party for our big day. their prayers have availed much in my life.

denise and steven - congrats, and i love you.

3 Surprises in One Day

first surprise: my mom called from the airport this morning to inform me that their flight was oversold, they were bumped, and they got 2 round trip tickets. who incredibly cool is that? i know that troy's family is have a big get together over the 4th of july, so that might be an option.

second surprise: denise and shottie both stopped by my for little visit. they brought me a coke and some doritos. (that's a great snack!) oh, and they threw in some cough drops for good measure.

third surprise: got an email from laura, stating that she's coming to hot-lanta next month for business. it's always a good time with lauracious.

so troy and i are back to normal life again. well, it's as normal as it gets for us. he's traveling this week and i'm working. we'll see each othe on friday or saturday. guess we'll start to consolidate stuff this weekend. joy. first two things he'll bring to my house: coffee maker and bed.