Lazy Weekend
ah - how i love lazy weekends. it's a beautiful thing when we don't need to drive very much. the most we drove was to marrieta to look for an apartment. we found a couple decent prospects.troy and i stopped in to see my old boss on saturday. i just love ed. he's got this huge heart. it was good to connect with him again. glad that troy had opportunity to meet him and spend a little time together.
i just found out that my grandma is in the hospital. guess she wasn't feeling well last night, so she went to the hospital in madison. the folks in madison sent her packing to the heart hospital in sioux falls. they'll be running some tests all day. please say a little prayer for her and my family.
ah, it's very monday today. i could've spent another couple hours laying in bed this morning. i took a few extra minutes rolling out of bed, but it just wasn't enough.
highlights from the weekend:
dixie motor speedway
napping on sunday
good conversations with troy
chatting with ed
visiting browns bridge church
lunch with lacey
apartment hunting
a little ice cream from bruster's
troy's brownies with icing
Possession
i think today is the first day that i thought of my white car (kelly) as troy's. it no longer belongs to only me. it has become our car. the truck on the other hand - it is still troy's truck. i can't seem to bring myself to think of it as 'ours'. it's a beautiful truck, but it may always be troy's truck.i'm a cheap person. that's a bold statement, yet i feel like i live up to it. i cannot imagine ever paying $13,000+ as a monthly mortgage. to me, that is not in my thinking. i don't want to pay more for a car payment than i do a house payment, (but we are). i grew up in a family who worked very hard for their money, and each dollar was accounted for. the Lord got His part, and the rest seemed to work itself out. i've never been 'well-off', but i am grateful for what the Lord has blessed me with. currently i make more than my parents put together. (ok so that's a awkward thought for me, but i wanted to write it. for the record: my mom is not working, and my dad recently took a different position at his job. it's not that i make huge amounts of money, yet God has truly blessed me with an amazing employer who is incredibly gracious.) ok, so back to my original thought, cheapness. i work hard for my money and i account for each dollar. some months that is easier than others.
there's a book called, 'don't waste your life' by john piper. i know i might hurt some feelings on this and we can discuss it later, but the back cover of this book keeps resounding in my head and heart. here's what it it says:
John Piper writes, 'I will tell you what a tragedy is. I will show you how to waste your life. Consider this story from the February 1998 Reader's Digest: A couple 'took early retirement form their jobs in the Northeast five years ago when he was 59 and she was 51. Now they live in Punta Gorda, Florida, where they cruise on their 30-foot trawler, play softball and collect shells...' Picture them before Christ at the great day of judgment: 'Look, Lord. See my shells.' That is a tragedy.
what am i doing in my life from become this tragedy? unfortunately right now i feel like i'm drifting along - trying to keep my head above water. i work, then go home, just go back to work the next morning. the weekends - i spend with troy and the kids. i wonder - does any of that have an impact on the kingdom of God? is my life making an eternal impact? and why am i designed to think that unless i'm on a different continent - that my life is boring, unproductive and useless? these are my thoughts today. it's these thoughts which cause me to not want to go to the beach, but instead to send the money which we'd be spending on the beach trip to my missionary friends in tanzania, romania, thailand, honduras, south africa, etc.
my husband has his hands full with me. God bless him.
Challenges and Books
so Troy and i are working on coming up with activities, games, etc. that we can do with the kids. we need to find ways to 'play' with the kids. Troy and i both stink at this. (ok, well, i claim to stink at it, and i'm calling out troy that he stinks at it, too.) so we are looking for cheap, fun things to do with the boys where we all need to get involved. i asked the boys to come up with things to do together, and all they could say is play video games. (that says something - doesn't it?) oh, and i asked troy, and he didn't have any. (so i'm trying to do some parenting 101 on my own to come up with creative things to do with the boys.) yet i'm miserably failing. most of the time i stink at this bonus mom stuff.we were driving in the car back to my office this afternoon and i asked michael how old he thought he would be when he starts to date. he said, '20'. then he went on to say that he's going to have friends who are girls, cuz that way you can get to know their personalities and stuff. (isn't he a great kid?) then he went on to say that he'll he is planning on dating for 5 years before he'll ask the big question. troy and i just about lost it when michael was telling about his dating life. troy went on to say that he's betting a week before michael's 13 birthday he'll have a girlfriend. this coming school year michael is going into middle school, and troy and i are looking forward to seeing what changes occur in this young man.
i have good parents. their prayers are availing much in Troy and my lives. my parents ask for financial blessings over Troy and me, and opportunities for troy and i to be making extra cash keep coming up. amazing how God has answered those prayers.
last friday i drove one of our company vehicles to orlando. i just have to say - there is one thing i look for in a car. guess what it is? it's not AC. its' not a good radio. it's not power windows. i need a car with cruise control. seriously - that is the most important detail in a car - in my humble opinion. of course the van i was priviledge to drive to orlando didn't have it, nor did it have tilt steering, which i've learned is a nice feature also. my foot was nearly cramping up because i am not used to hold it on the peddle for 5 hours straight. i was really grateful when i hooked back up with troy and didn't need to drove more. i needed the break. after working all day, then driving all night - i was ready for a break. that trucking business is for someone other than me.
i can't stop yawning. it's definitely a monday today.
looking forward to having dinner with linda ruste this evening at dos margaritas III in jasper. i love it when sodak folk come down to georgia for a visit. good times.
Click it!
so i did it. i signed up to put ads on my blog. soon you'll notice them. you'll be helping out a sister by clicking them. we'll see how it goes and how long it takes for me to remove them. but i was thinking this might be a way of keeping me on track with blogging. i'm so sporatic now.going to orlando again tonight. seems like troy is lucky enough to keep getting that run on friday night. i wouldn't even make it if there wasn't a nice bed in the back. i get tired about 11 then go to sleep - and sleep until about 9 am. it's a beautiful trip to orlando.
i changed my blog design, but i need tweak some things about this it - like how to get my meebo and flickr photos to work again. and how to change the time/date.
this is something i like. normally i don't spend much money on pens, but these are the best ones out there. that's a personal opinion, of course, but these are sweet.
Answers
so troy (and i) have come to a decision about the job situation. after some not-so-subtle conclusions, the answer is quite simple. Troy and i were both praying that the answer would be crystal clear - and God certainly made that happen. now we are just waiting to hear some other news to confirm why God wants Troy at the certain company. tomorrow we should know that info.i really like playing pool. last night i dragged troy with me to play. we originally went to the bowling alley to bowl, but quickly realized that bowling would take too long - the wait time was about 30 minutes. my fear - if i possessed a pool table, i just may not ever turn on the tv. well, i might have to catch an occasional Braves game, but other than that, i'd prolly be ok. unfortunately troy beat me last night, so i'll need to polish my skills a smidge.
i have a friend who is very sick with cancer. this person has impacted my life in a very positive way. he always makes time for me - to converse about my life and catch up on what he has missed since our last conversation. we've played many hands of cards, drunk some coffee, and simply enjoy each other's company. he always makes me feel like i matter. he and his family supported me during my time in africa with gifts and prayers. and so with that being said, i'm asking you to please say a prayer for my friend. he and his beautiful family is really hurting. they would appreciate all the prayers, support and love they can get.
Mysteries
so last week troy was contacted by this former employer regarding having his old job back. (he was laid off from USF Holland in January.) having troy on the road - and trying to communicate my thoughts via cell phones just isn't always the best way for me to express how i really feel. so for a few days i really struggled with the decision. for troy, going back to holland feels comfortable; for me, it feels like insecurity at the max.late monday and tuesday night last week, God and i had some words. i wasn't very pleased to say the least. my heart felt like it was being ripped out of my chest, and there wasn't anything i could do about it... except cling to the hope of knowing God hasn't ever let me down. it took a couple days to finally let go of what i want, and let God take over. grasping that surrendering attitude isn't easy, but by wednesday, i was having a little more confidence that whatever happens with Troy's job would be ok... that God is big enough to grace me with what i need - strength, comfort, and a spirit of hope.
then something amazing happened. troy's truck (Bessy) got sick - it miraculously wouldn't start. so wednesday night troy got to spend the night at home with me. we had opportunity to talk about the way we both were feeling - my insecurities and his feelings that things will work out for the better. i was able to see into his eyes and see the hope that he had - that intimacy is missed on the phone.
so wednesday night - i just couldn't help but be completely amazed at how God opened up that opportunity for us to have the night together.
and you know what? Thursday, good ole Bessy wasn't feeling well either. so troy had another day off. it was a beautiful thing. Troy and i hadn't had that much time together since before we were married - more than 2 months ago. (can you hardly believe that it's been nearly two months already?)
one more thing that happened on Thursday: his current boss caught wind that he's thinking of jumping ship, so mr. carnes contacted Troy about speaking to him before Troy leaves the company. after being some where less than three months, and having the boss ask you to come in for a chatty-chat before you leave - well, to me that seems like an amazing compliment. apparently troy has made an impression.
so now we are back to square one on our prayers... that tomorrow when Troy speaks to mr. carnes - that God makes it clear (without any doubt) to Troy which company he should work for. there are pros and cons to both jobs - money versus time at home seem to be the big ones. this is one of those times that i pray - and submit to what my husband chooses to do.
oh, to finish my story, on friday Bessy miraculously started right up. surprising, huh? (i don't think so!) so i had opportunity to travel with troy to orlando. we left friday night about 9 thirty and got back to atlanta about 2 thirty on sunday morning.
after spending all that time with Troy over the last couple of days i'm reminded why i love him. he is an incredible person. one of the most understanding people i have ever met. and i'm just lucky enough to be married to him!
Decision
Troy and i have a big decision to make in the next week. it will affect nearly every part of our relationship due to the amount of time we'll be able to spend together.please pray that we'll make a wise decision.
[James 1.5 If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him.]
about this decision - my heart is torn, i can't sleep, i don't really wanna to eat, yet i'm clinging to the hope that God makes something beautiful out of it. (and i can hang on until that revelations occurs.)
Characteristics
i've fallen off the bandwagon of journaling, but i'm getting back in the wagon. that's my confession for the day. when my life is good, i fall off. when life feels tense, i climb aboard. it's been way too long. after the last couple of days of devouring my bible, searching for a peace which only comes from surrendering to God's sovereignty - i think i'm finally coming back to the basics of life.so this is my focused prayer:
[Rom 15.5-6 + 13] May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you a spirit of unity among yourselves as you follow Christ Jesus, so that with one heart and mouth you may glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.
endurance, encouragement, hope, spirit of unity, joy, peace, and trust. these are the things i'm praying my marriage will be filled with. these are the qualities i want to mark my life. i want others to see these characteristic in me. i want our kids and my husband to know that i long to radiate these Christ-like characteristics.[my God, i call out to You for help. You know what i need, and i'm learning what pleases you. i'm calling out for You to help me radiate these qualities: endurance, encouragement, hope, spirit of unity, joy, peace, and trust. I've seen them all displayed in the ways You care for me; now i want to return the favor. Your favor is such an awesome blessing. in Your Name, i bind sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. come, Holy Spirit, and fill our hearts. Amina.]
for the last couple of days i've felt as though one of my vertebrae is out of place. because of the pain in my back, i didn't sleep well last night. now it's 8.44 and i feel like going to sleep. yet, the olympic trials are on tv and i can't seem to pull myself away. there's something amazing about watching someone break a world record. good thing they will finish in the next 15 minutes.
i'm not a pigeon fan.
troy has worked a ton of hours in the last 2 days. he's somewhere down in florida tonight and should be back in georgia tomorrow night. he's traveled to miami this morning, and tomorrow he'll be in jacksonville. that boy gets around. i'm looking forward to spending some time with him this weekend.
not sure if i'm going to trivia tomorrow night or not. might try out a new location - freehome.
troy and i really need to find a church home. we both are looking for a church which offers small groups, contemporary worship style and a casual environment. troy really wants to get involved in serving in some ministry, and i love leading women's bible studies. oh, and we are looking for foreign missions involvement, too. so we'll see where we end up.
it's now six to nine.
my dad is in cedar rapids for a few days - helping people who have suffered from the floods. he'll be great at working to clean up the mess left behind from all that water. and my dad always has a good story to tell.
my folks got their tickets to come for a visit during labor day. looking forward to that.
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