troy challenged me today to write down 10 things i'm grateful for:
1.) glad i have enough money in my account to travel to a foreign country and not have to return for a very long time.
2.) that's all i can think of so far...
timing and sorrow
several things in my life feel out of sync.
i was going to write about how timing feels to linger... then my mind was
filled with a verse which i love and cherish. the verse is Habakkuk 2.3 'For
the revelation awaits an appointed time; it speaks of the end and will not
prove false. Though it linger, wait for it; it will certainly come and will
not delay.' guess that's more confirmation that waiting is a good thing;
that patience has its place in this fast-paced world. and i'm not getting my
way, right away, and i'm throwing a tantrum. i want to have more answers, i
want for the bank to make their decision on this house, i want for the
appraiser to get back to us about any extra repairs, i want to know about a
job opportunity for troy, i want to not have to deal with insurance
companies, etc. don't get me started about ex-wives, job changes, loser
ebay-ers, feeling frozen at work, or finances.
there was my rant.
life is just a little overwhelming sometimes.
...a time to search and a time to give up.
...a time to keep and time to throw away.
...a time to kill and a time to heal.
...a time to tear down and a time to build.
...a time to be silent and a time to speak.
...a time to love and a time to hate.
- from ecclesiastes 3
in my daily devotion today it made this statement: 'Discouragement is
disillusioned self-love, and self-love may be love for my devotion to Jesus
-- not love for Jesus Himself.'
Our Father in Heaven,
reveal areas in our lives where we feel discouraged so that You may enter
into those areas with Your redeeming love. give us the grace to let go of
the self-love and grasp onto obedience to You. don't let us remain in our
selfishness any longer. take our lives and let them be, consecrated, Lord to
thee.
i was going to write about how timing feels to linger... then my mind was
filled with a verse which i love and cherish. the verse is Habakkuk 2.3 'For
the revelation awaits an appointed time; it speaks of the end and will not
prove false. Though it linger, wait for it; it will certainly come and will
not delay.' guess that's more confirmation that waiting is a good thing;
that patience has its place in this fast-paced world. and i'm not getting my
way, right away, and i'm throwing a tantrum. i want to have more answers, i
want for the bank to make their decision on this house, i want for the
appraiser to get back to us about any extra repairs, i want to know about a
job opportunity for troy, i want to not have to deal with insurance
companies, etc. don't get me started about ex-wives, job changes, loser
ebay-ers, feeling frozen at work, or finances.
there was my rant.
life is just a little overwhelming sometimes.
...a time to search and a time to give up.
...a time to keep and time to throw away.
...a time to kill and a time to heal.
...a time to tear down and a time to build.
...a time to be silent and a time to speak.
...a time to love and a time to hate.
- from ecclesiastes 3
in my daily devotion today it made this statement: 'Discouragement is
disillusioned self-love, and self-love may be love for my devotion to Jesus
-- not love for Jesus Himself.'
Our Father in Heaven,
reveal areas in our lives where we feel discouraged so that You may enter
into those areas with Your redeeming love. give us the grace to let go of
the self-love and grasp onto obedience to You. don't let us remain in our
selfishness any longer. take our lives and let them be, consecrated, Lord to
thee.
Just Stuff
troy and i have lots going on in our lives, yet it's surprisingly peaceful.
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition,
with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which
transcends all understanding,will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ
Jesus. Phil. 4.6-7
Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself.
Each day has enough trouble of its own. Matt. 6.34
But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will
be given to you as well. Matt. 6.31
And I will do whatever you ask in my name, so that the Son may bring glory
to the Father. You may ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it.
John 14.13-14
I'm at the place in several areas of my life where all i can do is kneel
before the altar of God and proclaim, 'God, i don't know what to do. I can't
change the situation before me, but i know You can. Please reveal Yourself
thru this situation. I'm surrendering to Your lordship.' and somehow, some
way He continues to do that - reveals Himself over and over in a mighty and
powerful way. there's something about knowing there's nothing i can do, yet
He is able, which gives me strength and peace. like tithing - even though
financially it does not make sense to give away money in order to be
financial more stable, some how when we tithe we have less money troubles
that when we don't. God-onomics.
Taking it to the Lord
We wait in hope for the Lord; he is our help and our shield. In him
our hearts rejoice, for we trust in his holy name. May your unfailing love
rest upon us, O Lord, even as we put our hope in you. Ps. 33.20-22
our hearts rejoice, for we trust in his holy name. May your unfailing love
rest upon us, O Lord, even as we put our hope in you. Ps. 33.20-22
Every now and then God lays out a plan and sees if i will trust Him to make
it happen. This house deal is one of those plans. So far everything has been
laid perfectly. From the realtor, to lendors, to credit scores, to finding
the house, to what is to come. Yet there are some aspects which need a
miracle. We have to have an appraiser in the next 3 days so that we can get
this FHA loan. Financially we might need a miracle, too. It's a little scary
writing out $500 in checks to inspectors.
Yet I wake up in the morning hearing that small voice in my head asking me,
'Do you trust me?'. I hope at the end of the day, i will be able to say,
'yes'. I want to live my life in such a way that others realize i trust God.
hello
as i'm sitting here looking out my office window, i'm overwhelmed by how
loved i am.
i am loved by an amazing husband who likes spending time with me, who
challenges me to grow in my faith, who loves our kids deeply, who makes me
smile and laugh, who is willing to step out and take some chances, who's
adventurous, and who happens to be the most kind man i know.
i am loved by all my parents, especially my mom and dad gartamaker. they are
constantly offering support and encouragement, even in the midst of their
trials. currently my mom may have a fractured wrist and my dad is in the
midst of finding a new job - yet each time they call me - they offer cheer
and joy. they are already planning their next trip back to GA, displaying
eagerness to help us with our next endeavor. their faith and perserverance
throughout their lives have demonstrated wonderful character. i have great
parents who love my kids, my husband and cherish moments with me. my heart
overflows with gratitude for being their daughter. also, i can't speak
highly enough for my moms and dad whom i've married into. they've taken me
in as their daughter, offering hugs, support, and great food. troy and i
didn't give them much time to adjust to having a new daughter-in-law, but
they didn't need time. they all were waiting with open arms for someone to
love their son.
God has blessed me with incredible friends who offer cheer, support, comfort
and simple friendship. we don't paint on smiles when we are down - we just
are down together. we cherish time and each other's friendship. with the
technology with have today, i'm chatting on messenger, getting text
messages, phone calls, facebook messages, and emails on a daily basis from
them. it is great to have that kind of support system. they don't allow me
to go a day without sharing their concern for me. i adore them all.
so i give gratitude to the Lord Almighty for allowing me to have this
wonderful life. He's blessed me with the people who make my life worth
living. my heart overflows with much joy, laughter and cheer when i think
about all the crazy times i've had with these wonderful friends and family.
Cheers to many more cherished memories!
loved i am.
i am loved by an amazing husband who likes spending time with me, who
challenges me to grow in my faith, who loves our kids deeply, who makes me
smile and laugh, who is willing to step out and take some chances, who's
adventurous, and who happens to be the most kind man i know.
i am loved by all my parents, especially my mom and dad gartamaker. they are
constantly offering support and encouragement, even in the midst of their
trials. currently my mom may have a fractured wrist and my dad is in the
midst of finding a new job - yet each time they call me - they offer cheer
and joy. they are already planning their next trip back to GA, displaying
eagerness to help us with our next endeavor. their faith and perserverance
throughout their lives have demonstrated wonderful character. i have great
parents who love my kids, my husband and cherish moments with me. my heart
overflows with gratitude for being their daughter. also, i can't speak
highly enough for my moms and dad whom i've married into. they've taken me
in as their daughter, offering hugs, support, and great food. troy and i
didn't give them much time to adjust to having a new daughter-in-law, but
they didn't need time. they all were waiting with open arms for someone to
love their son.
God has blessed me with incredible friends who offer cheer, support, comfort
and simple friendship. we don't paint on smiles when we are down - we just
are down together. we cherish time and each other's friendship. with the
technology with have today, i'm chatting on messenger, getting text
messages, phone calls, facebook messages, and emails on a daily basis from
them. it is great to have that kind of support system. they don't allow me
to go a day without sharing their concern for me. i adore them all.
so i give gratitude to the Lord Almighty for allowing me to have this
wonderful life. He's blessed me with the people who make my life worth
living. my heart overflows with much joy, laughter and cheer when i think
about all the crazy times i've had with these wonderful friends and family.
Cheers to many more cherished memories!
B-day Fandango
Had a great day with Troy's family on Saturday. see photos:
This might be our future house:
It will need some TLC in the landscaping department.
I love the wrap around porch which 1/2 is covered and 1/2 is uncovered.
journal, budgeting and discipline
i'm most productive when i know what is expected of me. i guess in some ways that makes me a follower - just tell me what to do so i can accomplish it. that's why i have a planner where i can list my daily tasks, thoughts, prayer requests and how much money i've spent that day. i must be pretty trendy cuz it's a real moleskine. (actually denise gave it to me cuz it wasn't meeting her needs.) my lil' black book's name is Moja. so far it's working out very well for me. i basically have 4 sections to Moja:
Challenge Question - see this link
Calendar - print out of my my google calendar
Daily tasks, prayer requests and random thoughts
Expenses
Troy and i were discussing 'satisfaction' last night, and the question arose, 'can someone be satisfied by another person?' what are your thoughts? that's a big question, and i'm struggling with the answer. i realize that the Lord placed Troy in my life to fill a void, a longing to have a companion for travels along life's road. yet, me, as a person created in the image of God, has more needs than simply having a traveling companion. i don't simply want for my husband to only be my friend. i expect more than that from him. i had lots of guy friends before i got married, but they weren't my husband. perhaps i'm struggling with the definition of marriage. perhaps my idea of what marriage was supposed to be was tainted. troy being gone 3-4 nights a week causes me to be unsatisfied. so does that mean i'm relying too much on him? am i looking for him to fill something in me which he wasn't designed to fulfill? oh so many questions in my soul.
[Prov. 13.4 The sluggard craves and gets nothing, but the desires of the diligent are fully satisfied.] this is my verse for today. makes me think about what i'm doing to change my unhappiness/unsatisfied life. am on on my knees, crying out to the God of the universe who can fill all the desires of my soul? am i working out my salvation with fear and trembling, or am i complaining about not getting what i want? do i have a spirit of gratitude? where in my life do i need to be more diligent for those whom i cherish? what would satisfy me?
i'm kinda going thru a phase in my life when i'm unsatisfied in lots of areas. not connected to Troy, friends, church, family, don't have anything fun planned for the future. too much work and not enough play. going through the motions by not really accomplishing anything worthwhile. i realize this too shall pass, but in the midst of this tunnel, it feels lonely, cold, damp and dark. yet i know i'm not alone.
center aisle by caedmon's call seems to be the song which keeps playing over and over in my mind.
one of my daily challenge questions keeps rolling through my mind:
did i practice undisciplined or addictive behavior?
organize
Reading from My Utmost for His Highest this morning and came across this quote:
'Sin is blatant mutiny against God, and either sin or God must die in my life. The New Testament brings us right down to this one issue— if sin rules in me, God's life in me will be killed; if God rules in me, sin in me will be killed. There is nothing more fundamental than that.'
that phrase, 'either sin or God must die in my life' is very strong dialect. am i waging war in my life to kill sin, or am i standing on the fence - allowing the hidden, dark secrets to evade my thoughts? what am i spending time thinking about, watching on tv, seeing on the net? is God real in me? am I allowing him time/space in my life to make a difference? is He getting my best, or am i giving it to another? am i allowing my affections for Christ to shine throughout my life, or do i hide them so that i will not be embarrassed when others are looking? am i truly working for the Lord when I'm busy at DHR, or do i work for my own ambition? am i serving Troy in an honorable way which expresses my great love for Christ? can my family see i'm passionate about honoring Jesus? am i submitting to Troy out of reverence for Christ, or am i inhibited by my rebellion? do i keep a close watch on the ways i spend my hard earned cash, or do i buy frivolous things to fill a void in my life? am i allowing God sufficient room to move in other's lives, or am i trying to control their every move? do i trust God enough to move in the lives of my family members, so that their hearts choose to trust God's way? am i laying down my cross on a daily basis, accepting that God is able to change hearts, minds and habits? am i'm asking God to reveal the sin in my heart so i can draw nearer to Him? am i willing to make the changes in my life to break the habits which have held me captive for so long?pink and blue glasses/hearing aids
i'm reading a book called cracking the communication code by Emerson Eggerichs. so far it's been a thrill to read. most of the time i don't mark up books (cuz i choose to re-sell them) but this one has marks, highlights, writing of all sorts in it,and i'm only on page 56. it creates some great conversation for Troy and me. today's discussion was about how men and women hear and understand things differently.
If a two women are discussing 'excess oil', they are having concerns about their skin. If men are discussing 'excess oil', they have concerns about machinery or perhaps a slippery garage floor.
If a women says, 'I have nothing to wear', she's referring to having nothing new to wear, but if a guy says, 'I have nothing to wear', he's referring to not having any clean clothes.
If a women hears the words, 'Let's go shopping', she thinks, 'How wonderful!' yet if a man hears, 'Let's go shopping', he thinks, 'How can I get out of this?'
If a women says, 'I have nothing to wear', she's referring to having nothing new to wear, but if a guy says, 'I have nothing to wear', he's referring to not having any clean clothes.
If a women hears the words, 'Let's go shopping', she thinks, 'How wonderful!' yet if a man hears, 'Let's go shopping', he thinks, 'How can I get out of this?'
another week
let's see, what's been going on in my world the last couple of days...
i've started using my day planner/journal again. it definitely keeps me on track with what i need to accomplish every day - what to expect and some how spiritually i'm more like to read scripture and pray. i need the structure it offers. today i was reading in proverbs 18 and 2 verse jumped out at me. verse nine says, 'One who is slack in his work is brother to one who destroys.' last month we were overly slow; this month we are swamped. so trying to find the balance there. also, verse sixteen says, 'a gift opens the way for the giver and ushers him into the presence of the great.' when i was in Mkata, Tanzania i used the verse to offer a message. too often i'm wrapped up in the 'give me' mentality when it comes tp the Lord and my life. that verse challenges me to think about what gift am i giving back. what gifts are ushering me into the presence of the great? what gift do i have or can attend which will open a way for me? so being faithful in our tithing is one of them, but also, looking for opportunities to give.
which leads me to something else: the word 'give'. that word keeps causing me to stop and ponder the greatness of its meaning. to give up, give in, give to others.
My sis and bro in-law are leaving for their trip to Honduras in a few days. they are going to be blown away at the greatness of God. their gift of submission/obedience is leading them into the presence of the great. can't wait to hear stories of their adventure!
troy and i are thinking of getting a new to us (used) car, in exchange for Clifford, our big red truck. i tried to get some financing yesterday, but because i've done the dave ramsey plan and gotten rid of all my debt, i was declined credit. they said i don't have any activity on my credit report for 3 years. so now we are praying/seeking God wisdom on how to move forward. not sure a loan may be the answer... crazy how i went with cash in hand, and they still declined me credit. what is his america coming to?
i've started using my day planner/journal again. it definitely keeps me on track with what i need to accomplish every day - what to expect and some how spiritually i'm more like to read scripture and pray. i need the structure it offers. today i was reading in proverbs 18 and 2 verse jumped out at me. verse nine says, 'One who is slack in his work is brother to one who destroys.' last month we were overly slow; this month we are swamped. so trying to find the balance there. also, verse sixteen says, 'a gift opens the way for the giver and ushers him into the presence of the great.' when i was in Mkata, Tanzania i used the verse to offer a message. too often i'm wrapped up in the 'give me' mentality when it comes tp the Lord and my life. that verse challenges me to think about what gift am i giving back. what gifts are ushering me into the presence of the great? what gift do i have or can attend which will open a way for me? so being faithful in our tithing is one of them, but also, looking for opportunities to give.
which leads me to something else: the word 'give'. that word keeps causing me to stop and ponder the greatness of its meaning. to give up, give in, give to others.
In the same way, any of you who does not give up everything he has cannot be my disciple. Luke 14.33
Flesh gives birth to flesh, but the Spirit gives birth to spirit. John 3.6
Jesus replied, "They do not need to go away. You give them something to eat." Matt. 14.13
Give to everyone who asks you, and if anyone takes what belongs to you, do not demand it back. Luke 6.30
'Live to Love; Give to Live' - that phrase keeps circulating around my mind... i think of it nearly every day. i keep wondering if it should be: 'Love to Live; Give to Love', but i keep coming back to the original. Love to live is probably more of literal translation, but Live to Love brings passion for living. perhaps no one else will get what i'm saying, but at least i'm trying to communicate what's been floating around my head lately.Flesh gives birth to flesh, but the Spirit gives birth to spirit. John 3.6
Jesus replied, "They do not need to go away. You give them something to eat." Matt. 14.13
Give to everyone who asks you, and if anyone takes what belongs to you, do not demand it back. Luke 6.30
My sis and bro in-law are leaving for their trip to Honduras in a few days. they are going to be blown away at the greatness of God. their gift of submission/obedience is leading them into the presence of the great. can't wait to hear stories of their adventure!
troy and i are thinking of getting a new to us (used) car, in exchange for Clifford, our big red truck. i tried to get some financing yesterday, but because i've done the dave ramsey plan and gotten rid of all my debt, i was declined credit. they said i don't have any activity on my credit report for 3 years. so now we are praying/seeking God wisdom on how to move forward. not sure a loan may be the answer... crazy how i went with cash in hand, and they still declined me credit. what is his america coming to?
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