'Sin is blatant mutiny against God, and either sin or God must die in my life. The New Testament brings us right down to this one issue— if sin rules in me, God's life in me will be killed; if God rules in me, sin in me will be killed. There is nothing more fundamental than that.'
that phrase, 'either sin or God must die in my life' is very strong dialect. am i waging war in my life to kill sin, or am i standing on the fence - allowing the hidden, dark secrets to evade my thoughts? what am i spending time thinking about, watching on tv, seeing on the net? is God real in me? am I allowing him time/space in my life to make a difference? is He getting my best, or am i giving it to another? am i allowing my affections for Christ to shine throughout my life, or do i hide them so that i will not be embarrassed when others are looking? am i truly working for the Lord when I'm busy at DHR, or do i work for my own ambition? am i serving Troy in an honorable way which expresses my great love for Christ? can my family see i'm passionate about honoring Jesus? am i submitting to Troy out of reverence for Christ, or am i inhibited by my rebellion? do i keep a close watch on the ways i spend my hard earned cash, or do i buy frivolous things to fill a void in my life? am i allowing God sufficient room to move in other's lives, or am i trying to control their every move? do i trust God enough to move in the lives of my family members, so that their hearts choose to trust God's way? am i laying down my cross on a daily basis, accepting that God is able to change hearts, minds and habits? am i'm asking God to reveal the sin in my heart so i can draw nearer to Him? am i willing to make the changes in my life to break the habits which have held me captive for so long?pink and blue glasses/hearing aids
i'm reading a book called cracking the communication code by Emerson Eggerichs. so far it's been a thrill to read. most of the time i don't mark up books (cuz i choose to re-sell them) but this one has marks, highlights, writing of all sorts in it,and i'm only on page 56. it creates some great conversation for Troy and me. today's discussion was about how men and women hear and understand things differently.
If a two women are discussing 'excess oil', they are having concerns about their skin. If men are discussing 'excess oil', they have concerns about machinery or perhaps a slippery garage floor.
If a women says, 'I have nothing to wear', she's referring to having nothing new to wear, but if a guy says, 'I have nothing to wear', he's referring to not having any clean clothes.
If a women hears the words, 'Let's go shopping', she thinks, 'How wonderful!' yet if a man hears, 'Let's go shopping', he thinks, 'How can I get out of this?'
If a women says, 'I have nothing to wear', she's referring to having nothing new to wear, but if a guy says, 'I have nothing to wear', he's referring to not having any clean clothes.
If a women hears the words, 'Let's go shopping', she thinks, 'How wonderful!' yet if a man hears, 'Let's go shopping', he thinks, 'How can I get out of this?'
another week
let's see, what's been going on in my world the last couple of days...
i've started using my day planner/journal again. it definitely keeps me on track with what i need to accomplish every day - what to expect and some how spiritually i'm more like to read scripture and pray. i need the structure it offers. today i was reading in proverbs 18 and 2 verse jumped out at me. verse nine says, 'One who is slack in his work is brother to one who destroys.' last month we were overly slow; this month we are swamped. so trying to find the balance there. also, verse sixteen says, 'a gift opens the way for the giver and ushers him into the presence of the great.' when i was in Mkata, Tanzania i used the verse to offer a message. too often i'm wrapped up in the 'give me' mentality when it comes tp the Lord and my life. that verse challenges me to think about what gift am i giving back. what gifts are ushering me into the presence of the great? what gift do i have or can attend which will open a way for me? so being faithful in our tithing is one of them, but also, looking for opportunities to give.
which leads me to something else: the word 'give'. that word keeps causing me to stop and ponder the greatness of its meaning. to give up, give in, give to others.
My sis and bro in-law are leaving for their trip to Honduras in a few days. they are going to be blown away at the greatness of God. their gift of submission/obedience is leading them into the presence of the great. can't wait to hear stories of their adventure!
troy and i are thinking of getting a new to us (used) car, in exchange for Clifford, our big red truck. i tried to get some financing yesterday, but because i've done the dave ramsey plan and gotten rid of all my debt, i was declined credit. they said i don't have any activity on my credit report for 3 years. so now we are praying/seeking God wisdom on how to move forward. not sure a loan may be the answer... crazy how i went with cash in hand, and they still declined me credit. what is his america coming to?
i've started using my day planner/journal again. it definitely keeps me on track with what i need to accomplish every day - what to expect and some how spiritually i'm more like to read scripture and pray. i need the structure it offers. today i was reading in proverbs 18 and 2 verse jumped out at me. verse nine says, 'One who is slack in his work is brother to one who destroys.' last month we were overly slow; this month we are swamped. so trying to find the balance there. also, verse sixteen says, 'a gift opens the way for the giver and ushers him into the presence of the great.' when i was in Mkata, Tanzania i used the verse to offer a message. too often i'm wrapped up in the 'give me' mentality when it comes tp the Lord and my life. that verse challenges me to think about what gift am i giving back. what gifts are ushering me into the presence of the great? what gift do i have or can attend which will open a way for me? so being faithful in our tithing is one of them, but also, looking for opportunities to give.
which leads me to something else: the word 'give'. that word keeps causing me to stop and ponder the greatness of its meaning. to give up, give in, give to others.
In the same way, any of you who does not give up everything he has cannot be my disciple. Luke 14.33
Flesh gives birth to flesh, but the Spirit gives birth to spirit. John 3.6
Jesus replied, "They do not need to go away. You give them something to eat." Matt. 14.13
Give to everyone who asks you, and if anyone takes what belongs to you, do not demand it back. Luke 6.30
'Live to Love; Give to Live' - that phrase keeps circulating around my mind... i think of it nearly every day. i keep wondering if it should be: 'Love to Live; Give to Love', but i keep coming back to the original. Love to live is probably more of literal translation, but Live to Love brings passion for living. perhaps no one else will get what i'm saying, but at least i'm trying to communicate what's been floating around my head lately.Flesh gives birth to flesh, but the Spirit gives birth to spirit. John 3.6
Jesus replied, "They do not need to go away. You give them something to eat." Matt. 14.13
Give to everyone who asks you, and if anyone takes what belongs to you, do not demand it back. Luke 6.30
My sis and bro in-law are leaving for their trip to Honduras in a few days. they are going to be blown away at the greatness of God. their gift of submission/obedience is leading them into the presence of the great. can't wait to hear stories of their adventure!
troy and i are thinking of getting a new to us (used) car, in exchange for Clifford, our big red truck. i tried to get some financing yesterday, but because i've done the dave ramsey plan and gotten rid of all my debt, i was declined credit. they said i don't have any activity on my credit report for 3 years. so now we are praying/seeking God wisdom on how to move forward. not sure a loan may be the answer... crazy how i went with cash in hand, and they still declined me credit. what is his america coming to?
monday mind dump
had a great weekend. didn't really do a whole lot of anything, but enjoyed being a complete slacker, test driving some new cars, conversing a great deal with troy, visiting an ill relative who is in the hospital, having dinner with my in-laws, waffle house, some shopping, and so much more nothingness. we also knocked a few tasks off our list: haircuts and contacts for troy.
loved my surprise visit by my friend, lindsay, on friday. i love having visitors. there something special about entertaining guests, even if that means for 5 minutes. thanks lindsay for stopping in to drop off the missing stamp. denise picked it up on sunday.
my heart is breaking for a local church going thru a major crisis.
looking forward to my parents and uncle visiting in a several weeks. they are coming for the 4th of july. it's gonna be a houseful, but it will be great.
really enjoyed the warm, sunny weather over the weekend. quite a contrast to the weather in south dakota where it snowed this last weekend. i don't miss that.
our office location will soon be moving to our new buiding, so i'm looking forward to that. hoping i can paint my new office some fun color(s). it might be the same green color which it is now. stopped at home depot yesterday, and discovered that i still really like that color.
loved my surprise visit by my friend, lindsay, on friday. i love having visitors. there something special about entertaining guests, even if that means for 5 minutes. thanks lindsay for stopping in to drop off the missing stamp. denise picked it up on sunday.
my heart is breaking for a local church going thru a major crisis.
looking forward to my parents and uncle visiting in a several weeks. they are coming for the 4th of july. it's gonna be a houseful, but it will be great.
really enjoyed the warm, sunny weather over the weekend. quite a contrast to the weather in south dakota where it snowed this last weekend. i don't miss that.
our office location will soon be moving to our new buiding, so i'm looking forward to that. hoping i can paint my new office some fun color(s). it might be the same green color which it is now. stopped at home depot yesterday, and discovered that i still really like that color.
crazy randomness
Troy has been out of town since Tuesday and won't get back until late tonight. it's weird having him be gone that much. i've enjoyed him being around at least 5 nights a week.
i randomly call people (who love me) in the morning in order for them to come to my non-reality farm on facebook in order for them to harvest my crops. i get more coins if they harvest instead of me. frauke and kimberly love getting early morning calls from me. watch out denise.
google calendar now offers a task list. it's a beautiful thing. i've gotten more accomplished in the last couple of days because of it. i can't stand leaving items on my list. it's kinda like my desk at the end of the day - i NEED to clean it off or i can't leave work. I currently have 4 items on my list: enter payables, cert. of liability updates, get mail, and mail out address change letters to customers and vendors. joy! (and this blog post, too!)
stopped at the library on my way home last night. checked out 3 books. started reading all of them. i have been reading 2 other books, also. now all 5 books content is getting all mixed up in my mind, and i don't know which book offered which quotes. good times. should just stick with one or two books at a time. makes for interesting discussions for Troy and me, that's for sure.
nearly every time i answer the phone this morning, it's a problem to be solved. my supervisor is out of town today, so i'm left to make the decisions. good times. one call offered a credit to our company, so i told that lady that she deserved the employee of the day award. she just laughed.
love it when i wake up thanking God for the life He's blessed me with. makes for a beautiful morning.
hate waking up in the middle of the night from a dream with my heart/mind filled with doubts and fear. perhaps i have more insecurities than i want to admit.
our office could be recorded and be aired on NBC 'the office'. cyndi walks by my office and says some random word, then i finish the thought. for instance: she walks by and says, 'useless', then i finish by saying, 'all of them'. this goes on all day long. i wonder what the whole stories is behind our little comments. one could not even imagine...
i randomly call people (who love me) in the morning in order for them to come to my non-reality farm on facebook in order for them to harvest my crops. i get more coins if they harvest instead of me. frauke and kimberly love getting early morning calls from me. watch out denise.
google calendar now offers a task list. it's a beautiful thing. i've gotten more accomplished in the last couple of days because of it. i can't stand leaving items on my list. it's kinda like my desk at the end of the day - i NEED to clean it off or i can't leave work. I currently have 4 items on my list: enter payables, cert. of liability updates, get mail, and mail out address change letters to customers and vendors. joy! (and this blog post, too!)
stopped at the library on my way home last night. checked out 3 books. started reading all of them. i have been reading 2 other books, also. now all 5 books content is getting all mixed up in my mind, and i don't know which book offered which quotes. good times. should just stick with one or two books at a time. makes for interesting discussions for Troy and me, that's for sure.
nearly every time i answer the phone this morning, it's a problem to be solved. my supervisor is out of town today, so i'm left to make the decisions. good times. one call offered a credit to our company, so i told that lady that she deserved the employee of the day award. she just laughed.
love it when i wake up thanking God for the life He's blessed me with. makes for a beautiful morning.
hate waking up in the middle of the night from a dream with my heart/mind filled with doubts and fear. perhaps i have more insecurities than i want to admit.
our office could be recorded and be aired on NBC 'the office'. cyndi walks by my office and says some random word, then i finish the thought. for instance: she walks by and says, 'useless', then i finish by saying, 'all of them'. this goes on all day long. i wonder what the whole stories is behind our little comments. one could not even imagine...
learning curve
our marriage continues to be a learning curve for me.
Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church— for we are members of his body. "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh." This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.
Eph. 5.22-33
3 basic lessons:
Growing up with an alcoholic brother and dysfunctional family certainly plays a part in the why and how i am the way i am. yet i'm proud to say that my parents endured those difficult days. they are not quitters, and neither am i. i'm a fighter through and through - yet i try to fight fair in most circumstances. i don't scream, yell, rant and rave about unnecessary evils, and neither does troy. we are the quiet fighters. we are learning together which way best works for the other person. i work best when Troy just comes straight out and tells me what's bothering him. He needs some coaxing in order to swallow what I have to say. (this is challenging for both of us, since i'm more likely to spew whatever is bothering me, and he is more likely to beat around the bush or to not speak at all.) we are growing and learning together, and it's getting easier with time. we are figuring out together what works, and that's what i'm learning marriage is about.
letting go of 'i/me' and grasping onto 'we/us'.
tomorrow: 18 months from when i received my first email from Troy. it's been a beautiful adventure ever since.
Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church— for we are members of his body. "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh." This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.
Eph. 5.22-33
'submit to your husband as to the Lord.'
'submit to your husband in everything.'
'respect your husband.'
God currently has me enrolled in the school of hard knocks. It's a combination of acupuncture, kickboxing, and open heart surgery. perhaps i could throw in some skin grafting and bull riding for good measure. and yet, somehow in the midst of this wild ride, there is an amazing sense of peace and joy. i know beyond any doubt that God designed Troy for me. daily i see God move through Troy to teach me another lesson on love, endurance, passion, hope, kindness, comfort, etc., along with tearing down my fractured image of what love and marriage should be. God is revealing my subconscious images of broken past relationships with my family and others. I'm learning why i act certain ways regarding lack of money, drinking, intimacy, parenting, and so much more. 'submit to your husband in everything.'
'respect your husband.'
Growing up with an alcoholic brother and dysfunctional family certainly plays a part in the why and how i am the way i am. yet i'm proud to say that my parents endured those difficult days. they are not quitters, and neither am i. i'm a fighter through and through - yet i try to fight fair in most circumstances. i don't scream, yell, rant and rave about unnecessary evils, and neither does troy. we are the quiet fighters. we are learning together which way best works for the other person. i work best when Troy just comes straight out and tells me what's bothering him. He needs some coaxing in order to swallow what I have to say. (this is challenging for both of us, since i'm more likely to spew whatever is bothering me, and he is more likely to beat around the bush or to not speak at all.) we are growing and learning together, and it's getting easier with time. we are figuring out together what works, and that's what i'm learning marriage is about.
letting go of 'i/me' and grasping onto 'we/us'.
And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.
Rom. 5.2b-5
not sure i'm at the point of rejoicing in our sufferings yet, but i know God is with us and in us. Rom. 5.2b-5
tomorrow: 18 months from when i received my first email from Troy. it's been a beautiful adventure ever since.
yurt
The weather was absolutely gorgeous this last weekend - highs in the mid 80's and bright sunshine. And man did we take advantage of it.
Friday night i watch a good friend, allison gantz, walk thru your high school graduation ceremony. i've known allison for about 5 years and have seen her mature into an amazing young women. she'll be attending u of georgia in the fall. i'm so proud of her, and can't wait to see how God is going to use her in the coming years.
saturday morning i had meeting for chyrsalis. the meeting last a bit longer than i had anticipated. Troy and the kids spent most of the day at the pool.
later in the afternon on saturday, denise, steven, cheryl, lacey, jolie, and the boys came over for a little pool get-together. denise grilled some hotdogs. the weather was beautiful. (had i mentioned i'm loving this hot weather?) anyway, it was great hanging out with some friends. i've missed that. Life gets so busy some times, and schedules don't always allow for those moments when we can sit around the pool and discuss life. i'm really glad it worked out this weekend.
after church yesterday, we took our kids hiking around amicalola state park. the falls were rushing with waters. The kids enjoyed playing in the creek. I enjoyed the time being outdoors. It was a lovely day for a hike.
while at the Lodge on top of the mountain at amicalola, i picked up a brochure for the state parks in georgia. and I learned something new while flipping thru it. some state parks offer these sleeping facilities called yurts. now i'm on a mission to convince my husband and friends to join me for a night in a yurt. they hold 6 people and costs about 50 bucks. the joy of a yurt comes in not having to drag your grill, camper, tent, etc. to the campsite. your house is basically already set up for you, and you simply take food and blankets. that's just beautiful.
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