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Love Dare

i'm absolutely loving this book called Love Dare. i cannot recommend it enough for married couples. I picked up a copy from family christian store, and bought a couple more copies from wal-mart. so far i've accomplished each of my challenges without much effort, yet the amount of time and thoughtfulness it takes to accomplish them is benefitting troy and me leaps and bounds. i can tell that troy is absolutely loving it. he loves getting emails and notes of encouragement.

yesterday kimberly and i were chatting and she mentioned to me about what God is revealing to her. her heart is set on these verses: [Mark 10.43-44 Not so with you. Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be slave of all.] guess she wanted to share the joy of serving others. then i was working on my lesson in the daniel bible study last night, and of course, those verses were mentioned. in my love dare lesson for yesterday, this verse was illustrated: [Phil 2.3 Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves.] think God is up to something in my life? i would say He's trying to get my attention for sure.

btw, troy is the one with the nasty feet. you can give him a hard time about it. i give you permission. wink wink.

CVS Deals

oh how i love cvs. they certainly offer some killer deals. see below for the deals i've found.

lacey graced me with a cvs gift card card for my b-day. i used $12.55, but received $10.99 extra care bucks back from my purchase. So that means i still have $18.44 left to spend after today's purchase. nothing like trying to drag out my b-day.

did you catch that i got these 5 items for $1.50. the lamisil normally runs for over $10. gotta love coupons!

Giving & Getting Things

[Freely you have received, freely give. Matt. 10.8]

i've been downloading stuff lately. trying to sell my wedding dress on craigslist, donating books to our church, giving misc. kitchen and household items to goodwill, etc. it's good for the soul to give up stuff. it feels good to release that stuff to someone.

God has really been working on me to give up. i can see the process happening now that i take time to look back. so far for my b-day i've been given two things, and both of those things i've felt lead to give away. i know the people whom i've given the gifts will benefit from them. that brings me great joy.

so i came across this book. go there and click the sample chapter for a preview. it's daily challenges for spouses, yet i can see where they would be beneficial for all relationships. i love daily challenges - ask lacey. i like for people to challenge me to do something i need to put effort into to accomplishing. the first challenge in the book is go all day without saying something negative. that takes thought and consideration. that challenge wasn't too bad; yet, i'm afraid if we would've had the kids, i may not have fared so well. my negativity comes out more when i need to be the mom... troy and i struggle to be on the same page of parenting. there's a definite connection between (un)control/directing/disciplining/entertaining/family time and the amount of stress that causes me. thank the Lord for his amazing grace which He gives out freely. freely i have received, freely i should give.

troy and i have been talking about our different parenting styles. he's mostly ok with the kids playing their video games for 8 hours a day. he feels like since the kids don't get to play their games when they are with their mom, that it's his responsiblity to allow them to play their games at our house. i can't lie, i'm really struggling with that, and the amount of time we lack playing together as a family. i feel we don't really connect in meaningful conversation as a family. the kids do there thing, troy does his thing, and i'm stuck somewhere in the middle trying to figure out where i fit into this crew. guess that's my vent for the day. so with that being said, i covet your prayers - that troy and i could work as a team, that we'd be playing on the same page, and that we'd become a supportive family unit by the grace and love of Christ.

troy and i had a really fun night last night. he took me out to find a book (the one listed above), then to dinner and a movie. we saw the family that preys by tyler perry. i was impressed with troy - he went all night without watching any tv. (that's nearly a miracle for him.) what the means to me is that he gave me his undivided attention. what a wonderful b-day gift! my love language is quality time. spend time with me to show me that you care about me. that's just how i roll. troy's love language is words of affirmation. tell him how important he is, and he'll be walking on top of the world.

so what i've learned from being married for four plus months is that when troy is gone all week long, i don't get my quality time, then i'm less likely to say kind things to him. i lose my close connection/affection, so i struggle with building him up. when i lack in giving compliments, troy lacks in giving me the undivided, quality time i desperately desire. so when i say harsh words to him (because i'm not feeling 'loved') it tears him down more than i could ever know. i'm not a words of affirmation person - nor am i a gifts person. (as exemplified by giving away my b-day gifts.) you can say something rude to me, and i'll be hurt for a little while, but i'll forget about it. for troy, he holds onto those hurtful statements. taming my tongue is another lesson God is teaching me.

this post is not going the direction i had originally intended. oh well, guess i had some stuff inside that needed to come out.

i'm looking forward to going out with my friends tomorrow night. (quality time!) i'm looking forward to camping with my family this weekend. (quality time without electronics.) i'm looking forward to what this year holds. my thirties have been truly exhilarating - like a zip line.

Strength and Understanding

found one of my Sara Groves CD's at the messiah house last week (or was that the week before? - who knows!) anyway, been listening to it at work. i adore sara groves. if someone were to ask me, 'if you can hang with anyone in the world for a day, who would it be?', i think today i would answer sara groves. she fascinates me with the depth and soul in her songs. she's folky, yet amusing.

the song, song for my sons has gripped my attention this week. these are the lyrics which get my attention:

This is a song for my sons for when they understand it
You know how life is full, you know we couldn't plan it
your dad and I prayed for strength and understanding
for things we couldn't see or comprehend

there's something nearly magical about the line - 'your dad and i prayed...' since michael and alex are biologically Troy's sons and not mine, it adds an interesting element to the possessive word, 'your'. the boys are mine, too, yet they are troy and jeannie's kids. i'm probably not making any sense. michael and alex have become 'my' kids. yesterday i was asked by our financial advisor if i have any kids, and i stuttered for a second - then said, 'yes, yes i do have 2 kids.' it's taking me a little time to realize that i'm responsible for 2 kids, partly beacuse we only have them for 4 days a month.

michael called troy's yesterday to him about his mid-term report card. he has some A's, some B's and a C. we are so proud of him, (and jeannie for working with him on his homework.) alex didn't get his grades yet, so we are waiting to hear that outcome. i'm really proud of alex for stepping up, and wanting to be part of the Christmas play at church. i'm looking forward to seeing him be a tv star. he's gonna be great!

God has been very gracious to troy and i over the last week. i can't really go into much detail about it, but both of us have had opportunities to see the hand of God move in our lives.

i started a bible study with the women from our church this week. it will be good, just a little different format than i was anticipating. it will take me a bit to adjust, but overall i think it's a great way to meet some other women from the church. on a side note, i'm praying for opportunities for troy to get more involved at the church. (it's really hard with his work schedule.)

i'm making a commitment to start going to gym again. i've slacked long enough. troy and i were discussing areas in our lives where we needed to recommit to Christ. mine was about taking care of my body. i think too often when we are recommitting areas of our lives to Christ, we tend to only focus on the 'spiritual' stuff. i've learned man is made of up of 5 parts: emotional, spiritual, physical, social, and mental.

i have two questions:

so what areas in your life need to be recommitted to Christ?

if you can hang with anyone in the world for a day, who would it be?

Time

not sure where all the time has gone. i can barely remember all that's happened since my last update. i might need to work backwards, from recent to 2 weeks ago.

i got a call from a good friend on labor day, letting me know that her dad had passed away. her dad, dave swier, was like a second father to me. dave always had a kind word to say, a good story to tell, and two ears attuned to listening. he lived a godly life, and was an example to his family on how to play, laugh, and love one another. i'm a better person for having known dave. on tuesday i found a plane ticket to fly to sodak for the thursday funeral. since my parents were in town visiting (hold on, i'll write more about that in a bit...), troy dropped us all off at the airport. my flight took off wednesday afternoon about 4 and my parent's flight about 6. God has amazing orchestration.

i'm a little bummed that troy wasn't able to make the trip with me, but his work duties took priority. it was the first time that troy was at the house without me. since he's out of town 2-3 nights a week, i'm used to him being gone. he keeps commenting about how odd it was to sleep in the bed without me. he's been really supportive throughout this entire time with me traveling out of town and him working. overall it was probably good for him to be without me for a few days. gotta love being appreciated!

so back to the story - my flight landed about 7.20pm on wednesday night. i took my parent's hooptie out of the parking lot and drove to the prayer service for dave. i arrived just as it was ending, but i still was able to connect with several people whom i've not seen for quite some time. my friend, deena, looked into my eyes and just broke down. then she mentioned that she'd been fine until she saw me. guess that's the effect kids have on their moms. :D she really has been like a mom to me throughout my life. she and her husband, burke, have walked me through many challenges in life. they've been my spiritual mentors, and loving supporters throughout my life. it was good to share our grief together.

after several minutes of chatting with people in the foyer, it was time to go and meet the family. it was a odd feeling walking to the front of the church, and seeing dave laying in the casket. normally dave would be standing there, with his arms wide open and a huge smile on his face. he was just that type of guy. i remember that is how i saw dave on our wedding day - huge smile and a wonderful hug. i will never forget that amazing smile and his tender embrace. even now as i think of dave, my eyes are filling with tears because he loved me and i loved him.

cindy and dave invited me to be part of their family. each of their 5 kids are 2 years apart. i am 2 years older than their eldest, my good friend, laura. so when i think about dave, i think about how he has seen his 3 oldest kids get married (one is me), has seen the birth of his first grandbaby (nolan), and his kids graduate from college. i remember when i was about to leave for africa and how the swiers invited me to their house to tell them what i would be doing. then they prayed for me before i left. those prayers availed much in africa. and when i got back from africa, they again invited me into their home to share of the beautiful adventure in tanzania. they listened with great enthusiasm. they asked great questions, too. they weren't overly concerned when i told them about the kids whom i taught who were HIV positive. ;-)

back to the story (again). after the service, laura and paul rode with me to the airport to pick up my parents. my parents took the hooptie to their house and i stayed at the swier's. we stayed up late telling stories, enjoying each other's company and just being us. that is the way dave would've wanted it - all his family together, joking around and having a good time with one another.

thursday came and the funeral was sad, yet hopeful. the video of many pictures and stories was wonderful. after the graveside service, we all went back to the swier's house and had more fellowship. there were many people over there. the weather was truly beautiful during the day - the sun shining and a light breeze, barely a cloud in the sky.

friday we mostly hung out, went to eat lunch at a place called 'k' - it's at 8th and railroad center downtown. after dining the girls walked thru some cool shops, and the guys went to do their guy thing. we all hooked up for a few rounds of geocaching - girls against the guys. for the record, the girls found all three caches. annie swier is the mack-daddy at geocaching. she's 'all up in it' - as we say in the south. after geocaching we headed back to the farm for some games and pizza. since my flight left at 6am on saturday i went to bed a about 11.30. that was the end of my sodak trip.

i'll have to finish the story later about my parents coming to visit.