hello

as i'm sitting here looking out my office window, i'm overwhelmed by how
loved i am.

i am loved by an amazing husband who likes spending time with me, who
challenges me to grow in my faith, who loves our kids deeply, who makes me
smile and laugh, who is willing to step out and take some chances, who's
adventurous, and who happens to be the most kind man i know.

i am loved by all my parents, especially my mom and dad gartamaker. they are
constantly offering support and encouragement, even in the midst of their
trials. currently my mom may have a fractured wrist and my dad is in the
midst of finding a new job - yet each time they call me - they offer cheer
and joy. they are already planning their next trip back to GA, displaying
eagerness to help us with our next endeavor. their faith and perserverance
throughout their lives have demonstrated wonderful character. i have great
parents who love my kids, my husband and cherish moments with me. my heart
overflows with gratitude for being their daughter. also, i can't speak
highly enough for my moms and dad whom i've married into. they've taken me
in as their daughter, offering hugs, support, and great food. troy and i
didn't give them much time to adjust to having a new daughter-in-law, but
they didn't need time. they all were waiting with open arms for someone to
love their son.

God has blessed me with incredible friends who offer cheer, support, comfort
and simple friendship. we don't paint on smiles when we are down - we just
are down together. we cherish time and each other's friendship. with the
technology with have today, i'm chatting on messenger, getting text
messages, phone calls, facebook messages, and emails on a daily basis from
them. it is great to have that kind of support system. they don't allow me
to go a day without sharing their concern for me. i adore them all.

so i give gratitude to the Lord Almighty for allowing me to have this
wonderful life. He's blessed me with the people who make my life worth
living. my heart overflows with much joy, laughter and cheer when i think
about all the crazy times i've had with these wonderful friends and family.

Cheers to many more cherished memories!

B-day Fandango

Had a great day with Troy's family on Saturday. see photos:

This might be our future house:

It will need some TLC in the landscaping department.

I love the wrap around porch which 1/2 is covered and 1/2 is uncovered.

journal, budgeting and discipline

i'm most productive when i know what is expected of me. i guess in some ways that makes me a follower - just tell me what to do so i can accomplish it. that's why i have a planner where i can list my daily tasks, thoughts, prayer requests and how much money i've spent that day. i must be pretty trendy cuz it's a real moleskine. (actually denise gave it to me cuz it wasn't meeting her needs.) my lil' black book's name is Moja. so far it's working out very well for me. i basically have 4 sections to Moja:

Challenge Question - see this link

Calendar - print out of my my google calendar

Daily tasks, prayer requests and random thoughts
Expenses

Troy and i were discussing 'satisfaction' last night, and the question arose, 'can someone be satisfied by another person?' what are your thoughts? that's a big question, and i'm struggling with the answer. i realize that the Lord placed Troy in my life to fill a void, a longing to have a companion for travels along life's road. yet, me, as a person created in the image of God, has more needs than simply having a traveling companion. i don't simply want for my husband to only be my friend. i expect more than that from him. i had lots of guy friends before i got married, but they weren't my husband. perhaps i'm struggling with the definition of marriage. perhaps my idea of what marriage was supposed to be was tainted. troy being gone 3-4 nights a week causes me to be unsatisfied. so does that mean i'm relying too much on him? am i looking for him to fill something in me which he wasn't designed to fulfill? oh so many questions in my soul.

[Prov. 13.4 The sluggard craves and gets nothing, but the desires of the diligent are fully satisfied.] this is my verse for today. makes me think about what i'm doing to change my unhappiness/unsatisfied life. am on on my knees, crying out to the God of the universe who can fill all the desires of my soul? am i working out my salvation with fear and trembling, or am i complaining about not getting what i want? do i have a spirit of gratitude? where in my life do i need to be more diligent  for those whom i cherish? what would satisfy me?

i'm kinda going thru a phase in my life when i'm unsatisfied in lots of areas. not connected to Troy, friends, church, family, don't have anything fun planned for the future. too much work and not enough play. going through the motions by not really accomplishing anything worthwhile.  i realize this too shall pass, but in the midst of this tunnel, it feels lonely, cold, damp and dark. yet i know i'm not alone.

center aisle by caedmon's call seems to be the song which keeps playing over and over in my mind.

one of my daily challenge questions keeps rolling through my mind:

did i practice undisciplined or addictive behavior?