cool weekend

On Friday i was able to go trucking with Troy. We drove through some lovely
Friday afternoon (holiday weekend) traffic. I'm not meant to be driver. If i
were, I'm afraid i may be overcome with roadrage. Anyway, back to story. So
traveling with troy is good for our relationship because we have nothing to
do but to talk. It allowed both of us to drop some of the guards we've both
put up and share what was resting on our hearts. Troy is a great thinker,
truly an introvert. Definitely a 'think-do-think' person, and I often times
fall under the 'do-think-do' catergory. He tends to over think everything,
and I tend to just do things, then think about the consequences. And yet
somehow it all works out beautifully on this adventure together.

Friday we delivered the freight about midnight thirty. While Troy was
taking care of the paperwork, I was trying to catch a few winks of sleep,
but it's pretty hard when the canisters are being moved around in the
trailer. After being unloaded we drove another 25 minutes to a truck stop in
Lebanon Junction. We were so tired by the time we go there. I admit, I'm not
a night owl. I got a new phrase this weekend from a friend a Troy named
John, 'i'm a solar person' = i function best during the daylight hours. I
hadn't heard that phrase before, but that pretty much sums me up.

On Saturday we got up about 9.30. The hardest part for me when I'm trucking
with Troy is that we don't have a shower. I'm so used to getting up,
dragging myself to the shower, and waking up as the hot water hits my body.
It's not the same without a shower. Baby wipes just don't cut it. But one
thing was good, we had McD's for breakfast, and they had bagels. Not sure
why some of the McD's are getting rid of the bagels, but those are my
favorites.

As we were getting close to Bowling Green, Troy and I started talking about
the National Corvette Museum <http://www.corvettemuseum.com/> . He had
pointed it out on the way on Friday, but we didn't really discuss much about
it. After some convincing, Troy consented to going with me to check out some
sweet rides. The Museum was really cool. Enjoyed seeing the old cars, the
new cars, and some history behind them. It's well worth the price of the
ticket to stop in and visit. I highly recommend it to anyone with any
interest in cars.

Troy was telling me a story about John, a good friend of his from Texas, who
once tried to convince Troy to stop and visit the Corvette Museum with him,
but Troy had other obligations at the time. I tried to call John, but his
voicemail came on right away. A few minutes later, John called back. Troy
and he were talking for a while, then Troy asked, 'Where are you?' John
responded that he was near Nashville and heading north. It turned out we
were about 30 minutes away from each other. We all met at Cracker Barrell
and enjoyed some good food and great conversation. John pulled out his phone
and was showing us lots of pictures of his family and house. It was fun
meeting John in person, after talking with him a couple of times on the
phone.

After a couple of hours it was time for all of us to get back on the
highway. Troy and I headed south, and John continued north. But our time on
the highway didn't last that long. We drove for about 1.5 hours before I
managed to convince Troy that we should get a hotel for the night. I love
staying in hotels. Hotels bring back some good memories for me. We called
ahead to a motel in Mancheter, TN, to get the prices, availability, and if
they had truck parking. First one i called had all three, so that was my
answer. I went inside the motel to see where they wanted Troy to park his
truck. It's not always the easiest thing to find places for an 18 wheeler.
The lady at the counter told me that we could park our truck in front of the
hotel. So i looked outside, pointed at Troy and said, 'I need to go and
tell 'that guy' where to park his truck.' As i was walking towards the door,
i realized how trashy that sounded, so i tried to cover my tracks and
responded, ''that guy' is my husband'. The lady just kinda smiled and said,
'uh huh'. It's a really funny story. So now Troy's nickname has become 'that
guy'.

First thing i did was get a shower. How glorious it feels to be clean again.
Kinda like when I first got back from Africa after enduring cold showers and
bucket baths for 6 months. After cleansing my parts, it was time to go
wondering around the community. We visited a little dinner called Wingers
<http://www.wingers.info/menu.html> . Walked over to Wal-Mart
<http://www.walmart.com/> for some intriguing people watching. Walked
through Shell gas station, then back to the hotel for some tv. After about
an hour of TV, I had a hankering for some Huddle House
<http://www.huddlehouse.com/> . There's so much free entertainment at the
Huddle House. Our waitress was going off about some guy who had behaved
poorly. On our walk back to the motel, there were some people wondering
around this old trains depot with their flashlights. I can spot Geocachers a
mile away! So we walked over to them and asked them about the cache. They
had been in town for some geocaching convention called Geowoodstock
<http://www.geowoodstock.com/> . Next year we're gonna try to make that
event happen. it's going to be held somewhere in the northwest. Anyone up
for the challenge?

In the morning we grabbed some complimentary breakfast on the way out to
door. Troy had to get a decent cup of coffee so we took a little walk over
to Starbucks. Then it was time to drive back to Georgia. We got back to the
Troy's office about 2.30.
On the way back to our place, Troy pursuaded me to try some brasilian food.
We stopped at Carne N' Espeto Brazilian Steak House on Delk Road. It's a
buffet and they cook their meat of an open fire. The meat is quite salty,
but very tender. I had some tenderloin and Troy enjoyed the Chicken. They
offer fried plantains, roasted pinapple with cinnamon, and some other really
great foods. It was a cool experience.

Monday morning we attended a Memorial Day ceremony at the National Cemetery
outside of Canton on highway 20. Highlights of the event: 3 huge military
helicopters which flew by twice, bagpipers playing amazing grace, trumpeters
playing tapps, and a firing canon. I'm really glad we dragged outselves out
of bed in order to get to that ceremony.

After the ceremony we drove to Lake Jackson to spend some time with my
in-laws and our kids. Deanna prepared an amazing meal of ribs, bbq chicken,
corn on the cobb, baked beans, etc. it's was a meal fit for a king. My
mom-in-law is a great cook.

We watched the race for a bit after lunch. It was on and off with the rain
delays. The race had been postponed from the night before due to the rain in
Charlotte.

Michael and I walked down on the dock and were fishing for a bit. He had a
line in the water with a worm on it, and i pulled it out of the water to see
if it had any bait left, and when i pulled it out, it had a fish on it. So i
guess i caught a fish. Somewhere Micheal and I were talking about going
swimming. And the next thing i knew he was daring me to jump in. So i
unloaded my pockets and just dove in. He wasn't sure what to say. He
couldn't believe that I jumped in. I had to pursuade him that the water was
warm and that it was ok for him to get into the water, too. Alex and Drew,
my nephew, decided to join us. We had a great time.

Emotions

An excerpt from 'The Healing Choice Guidebook':
Emotions wil not stay buried, except under a blanket of
depression. Stay present in your pain. Do not run from strong emotions, but
allow God to access your wound. Our emotions aren't cured by negating them
or by thinking positive thoughts. We are to bring our thoughts and emotions
to God, giving Him permission to do the supernatural work of healing that
only He can do. Though at times your emotions' intensity may frighten you,
the chaos will calm as you allow God to do the real work of healing.

end of the day

At the end of the day...
i lay in bed wondering what i've forgotten to do at work
i ponder how i've failed/pleased the Lord, my husband, my
friends, my family
i straighten the covers so i can climb under and sleep
i usually read something before i fall asleep
i normally thank the Lord for my husband, my kids, and my
blessed life
i revel on the words spoken during the day

1 versus 2 (or 4)

As a single person, i could update this blog with whatever i wanted to share about myself, because i was the only one who would have to deal with the repercussions. Not so when i acquired a husband and kids. Now i can hardly write about what i’m feeling and struggling with because it might hurt my family. I kinda miss venting and ranting about things – it used to be my release. My heart is bursting to speak, to release some clutter, to flood my feelings onto paper, yet i can’t.

First year of marriage was mostly a smooth ride. Second year has proven to be more mountainous, even though we are only 9 days into it. First year we needed marital counseling out of obligation to get married in a church in south dakota. Second year, i may need counseling to remain sane and uncalloused. The following is an excerpt from His Utmost for My Highest on May 14th:

      The only thing that will enable me to enjoy adversity is the acute sense of eagerness of allowing the life of the Son of God to evidence itself in me. No matter how difficult something may be, I must say, "Lord, I am delighted to obey You in this." Instantly, the Son of God will move to the forefront of my life, and will manifest in my body that which glorifies Him.

When my life feels as though it is falling apart, i cling to my Bible, i fast, and i embrace other reading material. My response is not to grab a friend to have a venting party. I become a recluse, a hermit, nearly a troll who doesn’t not want to be bothered. This is when i become an introvert. I visit the dark places of my soul where God finds me, sheds His light on me, and illuminates the path back to humanity. Yet i’m having a hard time, because it’s not just me who needs to have God’s illuminations this time. It’s not just me who needs to turn from darkness and accept grace. If something i’m doing becomes evident that it’s wrong, I can do whatever it takes to change that. But in a relationship, until the revelation of the wrongful actions becomes evident to the other person, change may not liking occur until God intervenes. Waiting for that intervention requires all of me to surrender to Christ.

I’ve been finding solstice in these verses from Psalm 139:

      1 O LORD, you have searched me and you know me.

      2 You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar.

      3 You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways.

      4 Before a word is on my tongue you know it completely, O LORD.

      5 You hem me in—behind and before; you have laid your hand upon me.

      6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain.

      7 Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence?

      8 If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.

      9 If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea,

      10 even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast.

      11 If I say, "Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me,"

      12 even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you.

      13 For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb.

      14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.

      15 My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,

      16 your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.

      17 How precious to me are your thoughts, O God! How vast is the sum of them!

      18 Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand. When I awake, I am still with you.

      19 If only you would slay the wicked, O God! Away from me, you bloodthirsty men!

      20 They speak of you with evil intent; your adversaries misuse your name.

      21 Do I not hate those who hate you, O LORD, and abhor those who rise up against you?

      22 I have nothing but hatred for them; I count them my enemies.

      23 Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts.

      24 See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.

playlist

Todays song playlist:

      Calling for a Flood John Waller

      Beg Shane & Shane

      The Long Defeat Sara Groves

      Loving a Person Sara Groves

      I Will Rise Chris Tomlin

      While Im Waiting John Waller

      Hes Always Been Faithful Sara Groves

learning about love

Through my relationship with Troy, my definition of love has greatly increased.

As he and i were laying in bed talking at 5.30 this morning, i was pondering a few of things ive learned thru him.

      Love can feel heavy

      Love is gentle

      Love can be hard

      Love expects patience

      Love gives, takes and hopes for the best

      Love is comoforting

      Love encourages growth

      Love is holding hands during an argument

      Love says we will get thru this together

      Love is a hug after a spanking

      Love sees past the pain to what can be

      Love is kind

      Love is a smile that melts away hurt

      Love lets go of the past failures

      Love speaks when we want to run and hide

      Love doesnt give up

      Love expects Gods best for people

      Love doesnt have rants

      Love endures much

      Love may be jealous at times

      Love breeds more love

      Love is not self-seeking

      Love covers over a multitude of sins

      Love protects

      Love trusts

      Love hopes

      Love perseveres

      Love never fails

      Love is not easily angered, yet doesnt delight in evil

      Love is ever before me

      Love is better than life itself

      Love is as strong as death

      Love is the fulfillment of the law

      This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers.  1 Jn. 3.16

      Love requires sacrifice.  This is my current lesson on love.

      [luke 9.23 Then he said to them all: "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me.]

slowness

Ive not quite gotten prepared to update my blog from the Romania trip. Theres much to talk about, but the words just dont seem to fall onto this digital paper about that experience.

My life: satan is trying to destroy something which he no right messing with. hes had his grimy hands involved for way too long and its time for him to reliquish his grip. The stakes are high, very high. There is much at stake. The battle will be messy, and require much effort. The strongman has a sentinel trained well with weapons. But there is One who is stronger, One who is able to bind the strongman with one word. This Mighty One is coming. I can see Him riding in His chariot, sailing on the wings of the wind, focused and determined to set free the prisoner. There are some strongholds which need to be removed in order for someone to be set free. This prisoner has been bound for so long that his vision is blinded; hes begun to think life cant get any better than being chained and shamed. Its time for a miracle to happen. Its time for this special person to be released from the past, and free to experience grace and acceptance.

Lord Almighty, come with Your fire and power!

Jesus, by the power you gave me by your death and resurrection, I bind the sentinel, the strong man, and their strongholds.

satan no longer has authority to keep this prisoner under his lock and key.

King Jesus, by your pardon You have already awarded this person a life of freedom. You paid the highest price required to set this prisoner free: the Princes blood was shed.

I rejoice in the work You are about to accomplish.

quick update from Romania

hey all - just a quick update from Romania. we are doing great. loving our time with the Mather family. we've been to the orphanage once and framed a garage. the camp is a great place. i'll post photos when i get back to the States. today is prom for Sarah, one of the Mather's daughters. we are planning on finding a geocache this afternoon. it's now 10.30 in the morning. ok need to run.