Mysteries

so last week troy was contacted by this former employer regarding having his old job back. (he was laid off from USF Holland in January.) having troy on the road - and trying to communicate my thoughts via cell phones just isn't always the best way for me to express how i really feel. so for a few days i really struggled with the decision. for troy, going back to holland feels comfortable; for me, it feels like insecurity at the max.

late monday and tuesday night last week, God and i had some words. i wasn't very pleased to say the least. my heart felt like it was being ripped out of my chest, and there wasn't anything i could do about it... except cling to the hope of knowing God hasn't ever let me down. it took a couple days to finally let go of what i want, and let God take over. grasping that surrendering attitude isn't easy, but by wednesday, i was having a little more confidence that whatever happens with Troy's job would be ok... that God is big enough to grace me with what i need - strength, comfort, and a spirit of hope.

then something amazing happened. troy's truck (Bessy) got sick - it miraculously wouldn't start. so wednesday night troy got to spend the night at home with me. we had opportunity to talk about the way we both were feeling - my insecurities and his feelings that things will work out for the better. i was able to see into his eyes and see the hope that he had - that intimacy is missed on the phone.

so wednesday night - i just couldn't help but be completely amazed at how God opened up that opportunity for us to have the night together.

and you know what? Thursday, good ole Bessy wasn't feeling well either. so troy had another day off. it was a beautiful thing. Troy and i hadn't had that much time together since before we were married - more than 2 months ago. (can you hardly believe that it's been nearly two months already?)

one more thing that happened on Thursday: his current boss caught wind that he's thinking of jumping ship, so mr. carnes contacted Troy about speaking to him before Troy leaves the company. after being some where less than three months, and having the boss ask you to come in for a chatty-chat before you leave - well, to me that seems like an amazing compliment. apparently troy has made an impression.

so now we are back to square one on our prayers... that tomorrow when Troy speaks to mr. carnes - that God makes it clear (without any doubt) to Troy which company he should work for. there are pros and cons to both jobs - money versus time at home seem to be the big ones. this is one of those times that i pray - and submit to what my husband chooses to do.

oh, to finish my story, on friday Bessy miraculously started right up. surprising, huh? (i don't think so!) so i had opportunity to travel with troy to orlando. we left friday night about 9 thirty and got back to atlanta about 2 thirty on sunday morning.

after spending all that time with Troy over the last couple of days i'm reminded why i love him. he is an incredible person. one of the most understanding people i have ever met. and i'm just lucky enough to be married to him!