Daily Challenge #19

Habits...

What are some of the habits you have - good or bad?

Do you get up in the morning and do the same routine?

Do you brush your teeth with the same hand?

Do you bite your nails?

Do you think the same negative thoughts about the same negative people?

Do you do the same routine each time you get into your car?

I basically do the same thing everyday. Turn off my alarm. Think to myself, "Time to make the donuts." (that donut commercial from the nineties has stuck with me this long, why change now?) Walk to the bathroom. etc.

I have a routine, a habit which gives me the same results.

Walk out of the house by 6:50, Carson to daycare, one of the older boys to school, and me to work before 7:30. 

Habits are ingrained into us.

This is the pattern - Cue: Routine: Reward.

For an alcoholic it goes something like this: I feel lonely/anxious/unloved/dissed. I drink. I feel relaxed.

For my morning routine: The alarm blares. I get up and get moving. I get to work on time.

Basically we all have habits. We all live with them on a daily basis. Sometimes we get them pointed out to us by others. Many of them we don't ever think about - we just do them.

In the AA program, there are 12 steps to change habits. Basically you need to figure out what your habits are. Know the cues which cause you to do the habit. Figure out what routine you do to get the reward. Know the reward you expect for acting out the habit. Admit you can't change on your own and you need help. Confess and profess the change in your heart, your desire to genuinely make a fresh start. Be accountable to others. 

Basically you need to change the middle step. You need to change the routine it takes for you to get the reward, or feeling which you experience. The alcoholic will always have the same cues. He/she will at times feel down/anxious/hurt. The key is to changing the means of getting to the reward. The alcoholic will find friends to talk thru their pain/hurt/anxiety so that they still get to feeling of being loved/accepted/desired. Some turn to exercise to release their pent up emotion. Something needs to change in their routine.

So this week's challenge is to write down some of the habits you have. Think through the cues. Evaluate how you respond. What reward is there for you? What do you get out of the habit. How do you react when you're hurt/lonely/anxious?