Surrender

each day i'm reminded of Jesus being the Lord of my life. the words: submission, bowing, kneeling, giving up power, release, others first, surrender all come to mind when i think of lordship. my pride-filled, rebellious, stubborn streak abhors surrender. it's difficult to let go of my wants, in order to focus on others wants. it's not natural; it's learned by practice and consequences and the grace of God. when i'm not getting my way, i get quiet. it's my version of pouting.

'Our entire life will be consumed with the One to whom we surrender. Beware of talking about surrender if you know nothing about it.'
-from My Utmost for His Highest.

lately i've been thinking of ways others can submit to the lordship of Christ. this morning i've been hit with the reality that i may be the one not willing to surrender what i want. that's conviction.

sara groves sings a song called 'justone more thing'

And love to me is when you put down that one more thing and say
I've got something better to do
And love to me is when you walk out on that one more thing and say
Nothing will come between me and you
Not even one more thing

it's hard to lay down that one thing and say i've got something better to do, or to walk out on that one more thing and say nothing will come between me and you. this is a great lesson for my marriage - to be reminded that even tho my feelings get hurt, that i shall not allow anything to come between troy and me.

[Jesus, teach me to surrender. remind me that it's not about me. i surrender this pride-filled, rebellious, stubborn streak to Your lordship. when i feel hurt, teach me to surrender those feelings to you before i spout off my hurt to my friends. remind me that i've given my life to You and committed it to serving others. let the vision of You be the death of me. You must become more and i must become less. Invade the private parts of my life, exposing the selfishness and rebellion. let Your light shine in the darkness.
thru the power of Your blood, ~amen