bad dream

i had some horrible dreams last night. they were the type of dreams which clench your soul with deep fear. i tried to go back to sleep, but when i closed my eyes, the dreams returned. after 2 hours of that, i got up, grabbed my bible, looking for some reassurance, some solstice. none came, just more hurt and unanswered questions. this is the passage i read:

 

[For God does speak—now one way, now another— though man may not perceive it. In a dream, in a vision of the night, when deep sleep falls on men as they slumber in their beds, he may speak in their ears and terrify them with warnings, to turn man from wrongdoing and keep him from pride, to preserve his soul from the pit, his life from perishing by the sword. Job 33.14-18]

 

for the last month or so i've really had a hard time sleeping. normally around 3 i wake up. last night, it started about the time i fell asleep. not sure what's going on with me. i feel as tho i'm losing my mind. i try to fight off feelings and thoughts of complete crap. i dream crap. hopefully this phase of life passes soon. i'm exhausted today, and it's my favorite holiday.