Learning

i'm starting off with this statement: Troy and i are in the middle of a discussion.

 

we are not fighting, simply discussing. we keep re-visiting the discussion. i think he wants me to tell more of what i really feel about this conversation, but i've held back some in order to not hurt his feelings. yesterday was a different story. there are days when i get chatty, and spew whatever is on my heart. guess i was having one of those days yesterday. hoping it will benefit both of us.

 

this is one of our first discussions which requires both of us to make some changes. i see a need for change; Troy is getting there. yet i realize that in order for things to thrive, both parties need to move together in a forward direction in order to progress. so i've spent much time in prayer about this, and i'm continuing to pray for us to see eye to eye (which isn't that hard since we are the same height.)

 

tomorrow is our six month anniversary.

 

our marriage has been a breeze; i honestly can't recall any days when it's been a tornado.

 

i just looked over at my wall of pictures and saw the photo of Troy and me on our wedding day.  memories of that day fill my mind - i married the right man (truly Troy is more than i have ever prayed for). then my mind jumps to Lacey helping with planning, Casey the great wedding singer, Shottie, Denise and Laura with all their support, Valerie bailing us out with the photographer, my family stepping up to help with the food, some relatives driving all night from wisconsin to make the wedding, my beautiful Grandma give me her blessing, the moments of getting the flowers in the buckets with my dad, grocery shopping with my mom, taking a stroll around the falls, getting a good night sleep before the wedding, getting to the church on wedding day and people already hustling to make everything look great, taking a ride to Carole and LeRoy's new house, all the guests who attended our wedding in the rain, having all our family together for the first time, meeting my brother's girlfriend and my niece, introducing Troy to everyone, etc.

 

what an amazing blessing. my heart deeply overflows with gratitude to our Maker for matching us up. Troy and i make a great team. i love having kids who are 8 and 11, and Flora is just about 11. it's like having 2 boys and a girl. then there are all my wonderful in-laws. i married into a really welcoming and wonderful family. I have 3 great moms, 2 wonderful dads, and the list goes on from there. my life feels full right now, but never forgot i long for Africa.

 

i see there is great celebration in Kenya today over the election results. my friend, Dex, is in kenya - in the northern region of Lodwar. she's traveling with a group who is deliver food, compassion, and love. i can't wait to return to tanzania. it's been a year and 3 months since i returned from Africa. i think i'm currently going thru a second round of culture shock. i miss that life - the simplicity, low cost life. i try to explain to Troy how i feel about it, but my words fail me. my heart breaks for my friends who are struggling to survive. i wish i could be there for Flora's b-day on the 29th of this month. i see her picture sitting on my desk - i see the desire and potential in her eyes. i miss that kid, even more so now than every before. i long to wrap her in my arms again.

 

guess i'm all over today.