From A to B
when my mom came to visit during the georgian wedding reception, i gave her some advice: 'step out of your type A personality, and climb into type B... pleaseeee.'unforunately that advice is coming back to haunt me. i've never thought of myself as much of a type A person, but the more i'm around troy and the kids, i'm definitely type A. so it's a little frustrating for me right now... normally i'm the laid back person who allows things to roll with the punches, but lately i feel as though i'm forcing the punches. before i was married, i made all my life's decision; now it feels like i barely get to make a decision other than 'do i get out of bed on time, or wait until i need to rush?'.
when troy and i were dating, we had the kids every other weekend, with the exception of one time, we had the kids 2 weekends in a row. since we've been married, we've had the kids every weekend - that's 4 weekends, and we'll have them again next weekend due to father's day. this has been quite challenging for me - i won't lie. it's not that i don't love the time with the kids, cuz i do... it's just that i only get to see my husband on the weekends, and when we have the kids, our focus is on them, and not each other. the quality time i desire from troy has been limited to phone calls and an occasional minute or two on the couch watching spongebob. joy.
this parenting thing is challenging. man, it's challenging. i'm not gonna say much more than that, but it's hard work. much harder than coming into my safe, green office everyday. i keep trying to remind myself of two things: 1) God is the only One who can change hearts, and 2) respect is better earned than demanded.
troy just called me and asked if i wanted to go to orlando tomorrow?!?!? huh? are you serious? so he's been asked to work on friday, which he thought he'd be off. he's trying to work it out that his dad will take the kids for the weekend, so he and i can drive to orlando all night on friday night/saturday morning and be back on sunday morning. this is the way my life rolls these day. right about the time i try to make some plans... the plans change.
my life is out of control. have i always been a control freak and didn't know it? it's a little scary to me.
1 comment:
Tanya,
You are adorable, and I am freaked out every time I read your blog and re-realize that you are married. Further, perhaps God is showing you a new side of yourself, and if so, it's apparently something he's fond of these days. Transitions are hard, and often suck, but God will make you even more amazing through them.
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